New York Magazine – August 05, 2019

THE APPROVAL MATRIX Our deliberately oversimplified guide to who falls where on our taste hierarchies.

84 new york | august 5–18, 2019

lowbrow

brilliant

despicable

highbrow

PHOTOGRAPHS: PATR

ICK MCMULLAN (DERSHOW

ITZ); MAR

IA BARANOVA SUZUK

I (WATERM

ILL CENTER); R

ICHARD TERM

INE (BLACK CLOWN); N

ILE SCOTT STUD

IOS (DUNAWAY); TECTON

IC PHOTO/FL

ICKR (TOWERS); MATTHEW MURPHY (MOUL

IN ROUGE); KATY PERRY/YOUTUBE (DARK HORSE);

IAMCARD

IB/

INSTAGRAM (BERN

IE);

NPR (L

IZZO

); SONY PICTURES ENTERTA

INMENT (BRUCE LEE); J

AKEPAUL/

INST

AGRAM (YOUTUBE WEDD

ING); NETFL

IX (

TUCA & BERT

IE, B

IG MOUTH); SKY NEWS (HOL

IDAY

INN); KEV

IN ESTRAD

A/THE CW (JANE THE V

IRG

IN); NUT

CRACKERS/

INST

AGRAM (NUTCRACKERS); COURTESY OF GR

IT BXNG (

GYM); L

INC

OLN BOEHM (

IN-N-

OUT

); DOUBLE3XPOSURE/INSTAGRAM (BANGS); THE CW (GOSS

IP G

IRL).

So getting us to argue

over just how racist the

president is is part of the

reelection strategy?

Related: The government

kept on separating

hundreds of migrant

children from their parents.

Why do we care again what

John Delaney has to say?

Alan Dershowitz’s overdue

reversal of fortune.

Faye Dunaway

slaps her way into

being fired from

a one-woman show.

Laura Lippman’s journalism

thriller set in ’60s Baltimore,

Lady in the Lake.

The Memory Police, Yok o

Ogawa’s novel about life

under autocratic regimes.

Téa Obreht’s

woke Wild

West epic,

Inland.

DDT-scented beach read:

The Mosquito: A Human History

of Our Deadliest Predator,

by Timothy C. Winegard.

Moulin Rouge!’s ensemble of

dancers tear through its

extravagant choreography

like a bunch of bedazzled

gazelles on leg day.

The Watermill Center’s annual Hamptons

benefit, titillating the summer

gentry with anxious arty spectacle.

“Pierre Cardin: Future

Fashion” at the Brooklyn

Museum. Plastics!

The Black Clown,

a controlled explosion

of joy and rage that meets

desires audiences

didn’t even know they had.

A miraculously untouched

In-N-Out burger was found

on the street in Queens.

Meghan Markle became

the first-ever guest

editor for the September

issue of British Vogue.

Holiday Inn is

banning mini plastic

toiletries, though

that is bad news for

lotion hoarders.

Lizzo rocks NPR’s

“Tiny-Ass Desk.”

Like any good telenovela,

Jane the Virgin goes

out with a big wedding

and lots of (our) tears.

... But gives Big Mouth

a three-season renewal.

Gossip Girl is returning, and

thanks to the Trump tax cuts,

everybody’s richer than ever!

The B in Cardi B stands

for “Bernie bro.”

Jekyll-and-Hyde mortgage processor finds

neighbors their “forever home” in

The Drive-Thru Crematorium, by Jon Bassoff.

Netflix cancels

Tuca & Bertie ...

Mazel tov! YouTube’s

enfants terribles Jake Paul and

Tana Mongeau livestreamed

their supposed wedding.

... Meanwhile,

more bicyclists

get killed trying to

avoid car doors.

Bruce Lee’s daughter found it

“disheartening” to see her

father depicted as “an

arrogant a-hole” in Once

Upon a Time in Hollywood.

RIP, Park Slope gay bar Excelsior. Maybe

everyone’s just at home watching Euphoria

and its full-frontal male nudity?

According to a Match study,

one-third of millennials feel

too poor to date. Does

Elizabeth Warren have a

plan for that?

The city’s cracking

down on “nutcracker”

homemade-cocktail

vendors at the beach.

So you have to pack

your own hooch?

Tony Robbins and Pitbull are

opening a bitcoin-accepting,

CBD-gazpacho-serving,

gym–slash–members-only bar

in Union Square.

Severe-looking

“shelf bangs” take

over Instagram, but

need a better name.

Summer corn!

The developers of the dual

towers replacing 5Pointz in

LIC proposed adding another

100 apartments to the

complex at the last minute.

The National Labor Relations

Board wants to exterminate

that union-protest inflate-a-

rodent, Scabby the Rat.

Surely gentrification played no

role in what Brooklyn

neighborhoods Con Ed cut power

to during the heat wave.

A jury found that Katy

Perry’s “Dark Horse” copied

a Christian rap song.

A woman was nabbed for

peeing on potatoes in a

western-Pennsylvania Walmart.

The “Dilbert” cartoonist is

a Trump admirer and ...

mass-shooting profiteer?

Related: Jeffrey Epstein told

scientist pals he wanted to

freeze his penis and seed the

world with mini-Jeffs.

A Central Park

West building sued

the city to block the

creation of a

protected bike lane ...

TRANSMITTED

REVISED

________ COPY ___ DD ___ AD ___ PD ___ EIC

1619BOB_matrix_lay [Print]_35541092.indd 84 8/2/19 2:32 PM

THE APPROVAL MATRIX Our deliberately oversimplified guide to who falls where on our taste hierarchies.

84 newyork| august5–18, 2019

lowbrow

brilliant

despicable

highbrow

PHOTOGRAPHS: PATR

CK MCMULLAN (DERSHOW

TZ); MAR

A BARANOVA SUZUK

(WATERM

LL CENTER); R

CHARD TERM

NE (BLACK CLOWN); N

LE SCOTT STUD

OS (DUNAWAY); TECTON

C PHOTO/FL

CKR (TOWERS); MATTHEW MURPHY (MOUL

N ROUGE); KATY PERRY/YOUTUBE (DARK HORSE);

AMCARD

B/

NSTAGRAM (BERN

E);

NPR (L

ZZO

); SONY PICTURES ENTERTA

NMENT (BRUCE LEE); J

AKEPAUL/

NST

AGRAM (YOUTUBE WEDD

NG); NETFL

X (

TUCA & BERT

E, B

G MOUTH); SKY NEWS (HOL

DAY

NN); KEV

N ESTRAD

A/THE CW (JANE THE V

RG

N); NUT

CRACKERS/

NST

AGRAM (NUTCRACKERS); COURTESY OF GR

T BXNG (

GYM); L

NC

OLN BOEHM (

N-N-

OUT

); DOUBLE3XPOSURE/INSTAGRAM (BANGS); THE CW (GOSS

P G

RL).

So getting us to argue

over just how racist the

president is is part of the

reelectionstrategy?

Related: The government

kept on separating

hundreds of migrant

children from theirparents.

Why do we care again what

John Delaney has to say?

Alan Dershowitz’s overdue

reversal of fortune.

FayeDunaway

slapsherwayinto

beingfiredfrom

a one-womanshow.

LauraLippman’s journalism

thrillersetin’60sBaltimore,

Ladyin theLake.

TheMemoryPolice,Yok o

Ogawa’snovelaboutlife

underautocraticregimes.

TéaObreht’s

wokeWild

Westepic,

Inland.

DDT-scentedbeachread:

TheMosquito:A HumanHistory

ofOurDeadliestPredator,

byTimothyC.Winegard.

Moulin Rouge!’s ensembleof

dancers tear throughits

extravagant choreography

like a bunch of bedazzled

gazelles on legday.

The Watermill Center’s annualHamptons

benefit, titillating thesummer

gentry with anxious arty spectacle.

“Pierre Cardin: Future

Fashion” at the Brooklyn

Museum. Plastics!

The Black Clown,

a controlled explosion

of joy and rage that meets

desires audiences

didn’t even know they had.

Amiraculouslyuntouched

In-N-Outburgerwasfound

onthestreetinQueens.

Meghan Marklebecame

thefirst-everguest

editorfor the September

issueof BritishVogue.

HolidayInnis

banningminiplastic

toiletries,though

thatis badnewsfor

lotionhoarders.

Lizzo rocks NPR’s

“Tiny-Ass Desk.”

Like any good telenovela,

Jane the Virgin goes

out with a big wedding

and lots of (our) tears.

... ButgivesBig Mouth

a three-seasonrenewal.

Gossip Girl is returning, and

thanks to the Trump tax cuts,

everybody’s richer than ever!

The B in Cardi B stands

for “Bernie bro.”

Jekyll-and-Hyde mortgage processor finds

neighbors their “forever home” in

TheDrive-Thru Crematorium, by Jon Bassoff.

Netflixcancels

Tuca& Bertie...

Mazeltov!YouTube’s

enfantsterriblesJake Pauland

TanaMongeaulivestreamed

theirsupposedwedding.

... Meanwhile,

morebicyclists

getkilledtryingto

avoidcardoors.

BruceLee’s daughterfoundit

“disheartening”toseeher

fatherdepictedas“an

arroganta-hole”inOnce

Upona Timein Hollywood.

RIP, Park Slope gay bar Excelsior.Maybe

everyone’s just at home watchingEuphoria

and its full-frontal malenudity?

Accordingtoa Matchstudy,

one-thirdofmillennialsfeel

toopoortodate.Does

ElizabethWarrenhave a

planforthat?

Thecity’s cracking

downon“nutcracker”

homemade-cocktail

vendorsatthebeach.

Soyouhave topack

your own hooch?

Tony Robbins and Pitbull are

opening a bitcoin-accepting,

CBD-gazpacho-serving,

gym–slash–members-only bar

in UnionSquare.

Severe-looking

“shelfbangs” take

overInstagram, but

needa better name.

Summer corn!

Thedevelopersofthedual

towersreplacing5Pointzin

LICproposedaddinganother

100 apartmentstothe

complexatthelastminute.

The National Labor Relations

Board wants to exterminate

that union-protest inflate-a-

rodent, Scabby the Rat.

Surely gentrification played no

role in what Brooklyn

neighborhoods ConEdcutpower

to during theheatwave.

A jury found that Katy

Perry’s “Dark Horse” copied

a Christian rap song.

A woman was nabbed for

peeing on potatoes in a

western-Pennsylvania Walmart.

The“Dilbert”cartoonistis

a Trumpadmirerand...

mass-shootingprofiteer?

Related: Jeffrey Epstein told

scientist pals he wanted to

freeze his penis and seed the

world with mini-Jeffs.

A Central Park

West building sued

the city to block the

creation of a

protected bike lane ...