SciFiNow – September 2019

CRAWL

Skin Of Your Teeth

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Mother nature is not always kind...

AMITY, LONG ISLAND

WHEN: 4 July 1975

WHAT: Great white shark

REPORTING OFFICER: Chief Brody

INCIDENT SUMMARY: Despite my

multiple attempts to warn Mayor Vaughn

about the danger of opening the beach, there were indeed

multiple attacks on visiting bathers by what our expert, Hooper,

assures me was a Great White. There were multiple fatalities,

and frankly the fact that it fell to me, Hooper and Quint (now

deceased) to take a boat out and blow the damn thing up

ourselves is an absolute disgrace. This is a categorical failure

of local government.

AQUATICA, PACIFIC OCEAN

WHEN: 26 July 1999

WHAT: Three genetically enhanced

mako sharks

REPORTING WITNESS: Shark wrangler

Carter Blake

INCIDENT SUMMARY: Well, what more can I say? That

Dr Susan McAlester broke the Harvard compact and has

increased the size of these sharks’ brains in some unhinged

attempt to cure Alzheimer’s, creating killing machines that

are faster, smarter, deadlier in the process? That they ate their

way through the entire crew, with the exception of myself and

Preach, and sunk a very expensive ocean research facility?

Gliding monsters is right.

CHICAGO

WHEN: 14 November 1981

WHAT: A big old mutated alligator

REPORTING OFFICER: David Madison

INCIDENT SUMMARY: Look, I know I have

a bit of a reputation around here but it

would have been really nice if someone had actually listened

to me before all those unlucky people got eaten by a giant

freakin’ alligator, okay! A lot of very fancy people ended up

as dinner for that thing... also, we are going to need a new

mayor... But look, the real problem here is that if we keep

letting kids fl ush baby alligators down toilets, this is just going

to keep happening.

BLACKWATER, NORTHERN

AUSTRALIA

WHEN: 24 April 2008

WHAT: An enormous crocodile

REPORTING WITNESS: Lee

INCIDENT SUMMARY: I know that you’re

supposed to follow the tourist trails, but our guide seemed

really confi dent that he knew a spot where we would get some

really good fi shing in. We thought he knew what he was

doing. You don’t know what you’re capable of until the only

person who knows the way out of the mangroves is dead and

it’s just you and your family trying to get away from a crocodile

who won’t bloody die.

LOST RIVER LAKE, TEXAS

WHEN: 3 August 1978

WHAT: A swarm of mutant piranha

REPORTING OFFICER: Maggie McKeown

INCIDENT SUMMARY: Once again, a

categorical failure of local government to

shut down an area containing aggressive wildlife. I will admit

it took me a moment or two to believe that someone really

had genetically engineered a strain of piranha for use in the

Vietnam war, but once you see what those things can do, you

put your higher brain to one side and you fi gure out how to

stop the little killing machines.

CRAWL

Skin Of Your Teeth

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T
Mother nature is not always kind...
AMITY, LONG ISLAND
WHEN: 4 July 1975
WHAT:Great white shark
REPORTING OFFICER:Chief Brody
INCIDENT SUMMARY:Despite my
multiple attempts to warn Mayor Vaughn
about the danger of opening the beach, there were indeed
multiple attacks on visiting bathers by what our expert, Hooper,
assures me was a Great White. There were multiple fatalities,
and frankly the fact that it fell to me, Hooper and Quint (now
deceased) to take a boat out and blow the damn thing up
ourselves is an absolute disgrace. This is a categorical failure
of local government.
AQUATICA, PACIFIC OCEAN
WHEN: 26 July 199 9
WHAT:Three genetically enhanced
mako sharks
REPORTING WITNESS:Shark wrangler
Carter Blake
INCIDENT SUMMARY:Well, what more can I say? That
Dr Susan McAlester broke the Harvard compact and has
increased the size of these sharks’ brains in some unhinged
attempt to cure Alzheimer’s, creating killing machines that
are faster, smarter, deadlier in the process? That they ate their
way through the entire crew, with the exception of myself and
Preach, and sunk a very expensive ocean research facility?
Gliding monsters is right.
CHICAGO
WHEN: 14 November 1981
WHAT:A big old mutated alligator
REPORTING OFFICER: David Madison
INCIDENT SUMMARY: Look, I know I have
a bit of a reputation around here but it
would have been really nice if someone had actually listened
to me before all those unlucky people got eaten by a giant
freakin’ alligator, okay! A lot of very fancy people ended up
as dinner for that thing... also, we are going to need a new
mayor... But look, the real problem here is that if we keep
letting kids fl ush baby alligators down toilets, this is just going
to keep happening.
BLACKWATER, NORTHERN
AUSTRALIA
WHEN: 24 April 2008
WHAT: An enormous crocodile
REPORTING WITNESS:Lee
INCIDENT SUMMARY:I know that you’re
supposed to follow the tourist trails, but our guide seemed
really confi dent that he knew a spot where we would get some
really good fi shing in. We thought he knew what he was
doing. You don’t know what you’re capable of until the only
person who knows the way out of the mangroves is dead and
it’s just you and your family trying to get away from a crocodile
who won’t bloody die.
LOST RIVER LAKE, TEXAS
WHEN: 3 August 1978
WHAT: A swarm of mutant piranha
REPORTING OFFICER: Maggie McKeown
INCIDENT SUMMARY:Once again, a
categorical failure of local government to
shut down an area containing aggressive wildlife. I will admit
it took me a moment or two to believe that someone really
had genetically engineered a strain of piranha for use in the
Vietnam war, but once you see what those things can do, you
put your higher brain to one side and you fi gure out how to
stop the little killing machines.
ANIMAL ATTACK
REPORT