Discover 4

30 DISCOVERMAGAZINE.COM

Mind

Over

Matter

freedom, increased privacy, more time
to talk without being interrupted
and rekindled romance. Perhaps my
husband and I, like them, will forge a
new beginning.

KEEPING IT COZY
So far, my main challenge has been
to strike a new mothering balance. I
know my son has to get things done
at school: Do I nag him from afar, or
do I let him take responsibility and
potentially pay the consequences?
How often do I contact him to make
him feel supported but not smothered?
While studies don’t give me clear-
cut answers, Bouchard says the
empty-nest transition has surprisingly
few effects on the parent-child
relationship. By maintaining close
ties with their kids, parents can help

ensure their own well-being.

For a 2016 paper, published in The

International Journal of Aging and

Human Development, Bouchard and

her co-author spoke with 102 empty-

nest couples. Parents who said they’d

seen or talked to their children within

the last three days, and maintained

regular contact, were more likely to

report their own lives were close to

their ideals and life conditions were

excellent.

A parent’s contentment also

depends on how the children are

doing. “Even though there may be a

sense of missing someone, the effects

of the empty-nest stage depend, in

part, on whether parents are satisfied

by the way their children have turned

out,” Bouchard tells me.

So it looks like we’ll be OK. My

husband and I are proud of our

son, and we’ve already established a

regular Sunday-night phone call with

him, in addition to the occasional

text. When our daughter leaves, I’m

sure we’ll do the same.

Heck, our kids’ absence may not

even be for long. As Bouchard noted

in a 2014 paper, about half of young

adults return home for at least four

months, again throwing home life

into turmoil.

Maybe one day I won’t be wishing

my kids were here. Instead, I’ll be

hoping they take off again so I

can keep rockin’ in my new-and-

improved life. D

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