[Because in my mind I’m doing this irrespective
of my family and events that have happened,’
he says, meaning, I gather, the royal wedding
and all that that entails. ‘I’m being judged but I
haven’t got a voice, I’ve got no ability to say,
“Hang on a second.” Having a social editor
writing a business review because they’ve seen
something on Companies House but they’ve
completely misconstrued the data – how can
you stand up for yourself? I don’t really care any-
more. I’m not fussed. The people who matter to
me know who I am, and nothing that the press
writes will ever change that.’
For the record, he points out that he shut
his first business, The Cake Kit Company,
without losing any money. ‘I learnt so much.
I had an income, but it wasn’t scalable. I wanted
the next level.’ So he started Nice Cakes – its
USP: edible photos printed onto birthday
cakes. This time James could see the scale, but
there was a problem – the cakes had to be signed
for on delivery and if the customer wasn’t home,
they didn’t get their cake: ergo, birthday ruined.
He lost money that time, but insists it was only
his own. Using the same printing technology, a
new venture, Boomf, was born. It was the same
concept, but working instead with marshmallows,
because they fit through a letter-box, ‘like an
edible birthday card.’
Five years later, Boomf is still going and,
he says, is now in profit. But last year James
stepped away from the day-to-day running and
now a management team is in place. ‘A whole
year ago? Crikey,’ he says, mentally ticking off
the time. A lot has happened in that year.I shut myself off, I didn’t communicate with
my family at all. But there’s only so long you can
hold your breath.’ The tipping point came as he
pulled up to work one day in late 2017, feeling
the weight of other people’s livelihoods bearing
down on his shoulders. It proved combustible.
‘I couldn’t get out of the car. I sat waiting and
I didn’t know why. I kept thinking “What is the
point? To go and sit at my desk and do
nothing.”’ He called his GP from the car park.
‘I remember not being able to explain,’ he says.
‘The doctor said “James, are you okay?” And I
said “No, I’m not.”’ The words acted like a
valve: ‘Even saying that was an easing of the
pressure. I was saying I wasn’t okay, when each
day I’d wake up pretending I was.’ The GP told
him, softly, not to go to work, to take his dogs
for a walk instead. Within an hour he had been
referred to a specialist.
James took a year out, went to therapy, went
wild swimming in the Lake District and spent
time at Glen Affric, the Matthews’ Scottish
estate, a place he describes as ‘magical’. ‘There’s
a Cornish Shrimper up there and, because I had
the time, I’d take guests out sailing down the
loch.’ Promotional photos of James emerged on
Glen Affric’s website and he was lambasted for
working there, in the vein of ‘Oh, how the
mighty have fallen.’ He groans: ‘I don’t work as
a hotel tour guide. I was a host and I still do host
the odd weekend, because I like being there.
But I don’t stand around with a little flag point-
ing out where William Wallace was last seen.’
It’s clear, though, that James prefers being
outdoors – which is how he says it’s been since
he was a child. He seems at ease romping
through Richmond Park with his dogs for the
photoshoot, a compelling mix of Mr Darcy and
Heathcliff. ‘Actually I did interview for a few
jobs during that year, but they weren’t right.’
The rigidity of a 9-to-5 desk job didn’t appeal
and now he’s going to focus on his
businesses: ‘For the rest of my life I’ll be coming
up with ideas. Some of them will work, some of
them won’t, but that’s me, that’s what I do.’
It won’t all be work: chief among his plans is
adventure. When his boat is ready, he’ll take it
to the Stockholm archipelago, ‘Where the sea is
so deep you can moor almost bow-on to the
land.’ Like James, Alizee ’s father is a keen sailor
and named his daughter after the Alizee trade
wind which would fill his sails. James recently
posted his first public Instagram photo with
her, looking blissfully happy aboard a yacht,
with the caption: ‘Sail away with me.’
He won’t, though, budge on not talking
about her. But, he concedes with a shy smile,
‘I am happy.’ He adds: ‘I feel like James Middleton
again. I feel like I was when I was 13, excited
about life. I feel like myself again and I couldn’t
ask for more.’(Before he took a break, the company had made
losses for four consecutive years and it was reported
that investors had stepped in – including his
brother-in-law, hedge funder James Matthews. ‘It’s
challenging when any business gets investment.
Why would you need investors’ money if you’re
making money?’
Challenging, maybe, but each day he’d go to
his office and wonder why he was there. ‘I’m an
ideas person, I love seeing things in the early stages.’
He didn’t know how to manage the operational
side of things. ‘I was full of worry, of my own
expectations. It was the pressure of relationships,
all sorts of things. I was thinking, “I’ve worked so
hard and what’s the point?”’
Other people, sensing something was wrong,
suggested that James try to get help. Instead, he
stopped answering calls and texts. He hid away.
‘Friends would say, “James, we’re going to come
round, take you to the pub, have some drinks.”
Suddenly, I’d think, “I don’t want to do that”
so I’d ignore the messages and be fearful that they
would ring the doorbell.’
The depression was ‘crippling. It’s what keeps
you in bed, while anxiety makes you feel guilty for
being there.’ Yet he fought the idea that he was
depressed. ‘I thought “What do I have to be
depressed about?” I’ve been so lucky with my up-
bringing, I had all the things I wanted. It’s not that
I wanted more, but there was something that was
always there’ – by which he means a malaise. ‘And
the more I ignored it, the more it was taking over.’
His mother and father were ‘hugely worried’
for him. ‘They knew something wasn’t right with
me, but I didn’t want them anywhere near me.Above, brother of the bride, James Middleton during the
Royal Wedding, 2011. Right, James with Alizee Thevenet
at the wedding of Lady Gabriella Windsor and Tom
Kingston at St George’s Chapel, Windsor, 18 May 2019Tatler August 2019 tatler.comPHOTOGRAPHS: GETTY IMAGES08-19WELL-JamesMiddleton.indd 80 04/06/2019 13:11
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