I

T CANbequitea shocktothesystem,

beinginthedatinggameagaindec-

adesafteryouwere“singleandready

tomingle”.

Afteryearsofthecomfortablecom-

panionshipthatmarriagecanprovide,

findingyourselfsuddenlysingleand

outtheretryingtomeetpeoplecanbe

nerve-rackingandleaveyoufeeling

vulnerableandunsureofyourself.

Whetheryou’resingleagaindueto

deathordivorce,datinglaterinlifehas

uniquechallenges.

Areaderrecentlysharedherfeelings

aboutherfirstdatewitha manshe’d

beenchattingtoonWhatsAppfora

whilebuthadn’tmetface-to-face.And

manywomenwho’vestarteddating

againafteryearsofbeing partofa

couplecanrelatetoherlament.

“AsI nervouslytuckmyhairbehind

myear,I wonderhowI gothere.I used

tobehappilymarried– orsoI thought

• untilI discoveredmyhusbandhad
  metsomeoneelse,”shesays.
  “NowI’mhavingtorelearndating–
  tomeetmenina worldthat’ssodifferent
  totheoneI livedinwhenI wasyoung
  andpretty.
  “Aworldwhereyoumeetsomeoneon
  theinternet,andnolongerthrough
  mutualfriendsorata reputableestab-
  lishment.Aworldwhereyougetto
  knoweachotherthroughWhatsApp
  messagesandheartheotherperson’s
  voiceforthefirsttimeonlyonceyou
  finallygetaroundtomeetingeachother
  face-to-faceovercoffee.
  “And suddenly I’m faced with some-
  one I barely know because he doesn’t
  resemble his profile pic. I fake a smile
  and take a breath. But in my heart I’m
  crying because at my age I should’ve
  been settled with my husband and my
  children but instead I feel alone and lost.”
  There are all sorts of things you prob-
  ably didn’t have to consider when you
  were younger – the baggage from previ-
  ous long-term relationships, family
  concerns, children or health issues – but
  dating later in life can still be rewarding
  and provide the companionship, affec-
  tion and support you’re looking for.
  Here’s advice on finding love at a later
  stage in life and tips on how to cope with
  the challenges this presents.

HOW TO GO ABOUT MEETING

SOMEONE

Experts agree that getting back into the

dating scene after many years “off the

Dating in your

later years

Jumping back into the dating pool when you’re

older can be daunting. Here are tips to make

it less intimidating BY MARELIZE GRBICH

36 | 1 AUGUST 2019 http://www.drum.co.za

ADVICE