AUGUST 10 2019 LISTENER
RUS
SELL (^) C
LAR
K; (^) B
ILL
BEA
VIS
W
hen people ask me
where the Fred Dagg
humour came from, I’m
reminded of an old army
story. In 1945, the 2nd New
Zealand Division fought
a costly street-by-street
battle against the retreating
German army to take the
city of Trieste, in northern
Italy. Once the city was
secured, the Americans
decided a victory parade
was in order, to be headed
by the elite US Marines. It
was pointed out that the
Americans had arrived after
the battle had finished and
that the fighting had been
done by the New Zealand-
ers. The Italian campaign
happened to a New Zealander
who was captured in Greece.
After skirmishing around, he
was taken in by some Greeks
living in a small village and
lived as one of them. He was
dark, so he added sideboards
to his hair and picked up a
smattering of the language.
But one thing he overlooked;
the Greeks from young to old
have magnificent teeth, and
he had the usual false ones.
One day, while waiting in a
cafe, he happened to click
his false teeth. In a second, a
Nazi soldier sprang up from
nowhere, grabbed him and
said, “Kom mit me.”
SHE HAS WRITTEN 5000 LETTERS
IN TWO YEARS, AUGUST 4, 1944
For just over two years now
Mrs H Gush, formerly of
Pungarehu, Taranaki, and now
of New Plymouth, has been
listening to broadcasts by pris-
oners-of-war from Germany,
Italy and Japan and so far she
has written more than 5000
letters to prisoners’ relatives.
Mrs Gush started her present
task because during the last
war she lost two brothers, one
of whom was missing, and
the relatives had no news of
him. She hopes that through
her work some mother or wife
may be saved the agony of
uncertainty that follows the
brief intimation, “Missing ...”
SHORT STORY: HOMECOMING,
HELEN WILMOT, SEPTEMBER 21,
1945
Your husband ... will be arriv-
ing very shortly from overseas.
You will be advised later con-
firming his arrival and future
movements.
Defence
“I’m going to be sensible.
I’m going to be sensible,” she
said to herself. “I’m going
to be quite calm and col-
lected and not go weeping
or shrieking or anything silly
like that.” And so she took a
was nevertheless being run
by US Army command and
the parade went ahead as
planned. In front came the
US Marines, with a large
banner bearing their emblem
and the words “US Marines.
Second to None.” Behind
them marched the New
Zealanders, carrying a large
sheet on which was written
the word “None”.
good grip on herself. Then
suddenly she saw him bag in
hand, looking quite lost and
bewildered as they called out
his name. With a little cry,
she ran towards him. All her
own feelings were forgotten,
he looked so miserable and
uncertain, his face a little pale
just as it always had been in
moments of stress. He sud-
denly saw her from out of
the sea of faces, dropped eve-
rything and grabbed her. He
almost looked on the verge
of tears, so she swallowed her
emotions and took charge of
the situation, arranging trans-
port and so on. Then they
just sat in the back of the
car and just looked at each
other. “He’s just the same,”
she thought exultantly, “a
little older, of course, but his
voice is just the same, and his
hair grows in the same way,
and, oh goodness, it seems
the most natural thing in the
world just to be sitting beside
him again holding hands, as
if we were in our teens again.”
Suddenly, she remembered
their daughter, who had been
left with relations. “We’ll go
and see her now,” she said,
“she’s all excited about her
Daddy.” “Oh, hell,” said her
husband, “I’m a bit scared of
the youngster, what will she
think of me?” But the young
lady quickly put him at his
ease and was soon show-
ing him her favourite book,
though he jumped every time
she said, “Daddy.”
EDITORIAL: PEACE AT A PRICE,
AUGUST 24, 1945
It is a sobering thought that
peace came to both sides with
fear and trembling.
The victors had found a
weapon that they were almost
afraid to use themselves. It
is not necessary to be in one
camp or the other to see that
the price of peace is something
that it has never been before.
Our whole civilisation will dis-
appear unless we get Hiroshima
into our minds and hearts, and
war out of them. Meanwhile,
we should go on thanking God
that we are still here.
Oliver Duff l
John Clarke as Fred Dagg.
John Clarke on Kiwi war humour
The April 19, 1940, “Lest we forget”
cover to mark Anzac Day.