New Zealand Listener – August 10, 2019

8 LISTENER AUGUST 10 2019

LETTERS

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“The country this morning

has the air of some people

who got drunk last night

and thought it would be

funny to kidnap a puffin

from the zoo, and who’ve

just woken up to see they

succeeded.” – satirist Armando

Iannucci on Boris Johnson as

UK PM

“You could say he was peak

NZ.” – speechwriter James Jeffrey

on Sir Edmund Hillary

“I think that’s how Chicago

got started. A bunch of

people in New York said,

‘Gee, I’m enjoying the

crime and poverty, but

it just isn’t cold enough.

Let’s go west!’” – US comedian

Richard Jeni

“Coming back from Canada

as I crossed the border I was

asked if I had any firearms, I

said, ‘What do you need?’”

– US comedian Steven Wright

“In Paris they have chairs

and tables out in the street.

In Liverpool we call that

eviction.” – comedian Ken Dodd

“Edinburgh is a cross

between Copenhagen

and Barcelona, except

that in Copenhagen and

Barcelona they speak more

understandable English.” –

John Malkovich

“Mueller was questioned

by 60 lawmakers for six

hours. The only other time

you get grilled like that is if

you’re single at your family

reunion.” – US comedian

Jimmy Fallon on Robert Mueller’s

hearing on Russian interference

“If you want a good

sex life, the answer is

communication. If you’re

making love to your

partner, tell her.” – comic

Ivor Dembina

Quips&

Quotes

Pakehas – as New Zealanders.

Maha Winiata

(Auckland)

LET THEM GROW TREES

The question of reafforesta-

tion is to me coupled with

the problem of the future of

the Maori race. The need for

the former is obvious; that

something should be done for

the Maoris is equally plain. In

a brochure by Ronald Meek,

“Maori Problems of Today”,

it is shown that only 22%, a

diminishing percentage, are

engaged in primary production

• and that 70% are depend-
  ants, pensioners and the like.
  Set up a Forestry Commis-
  sion to control all cutting and
  development, give it a fixed
  income and after a period of
  training the personnel, make
  over the whole Forestry Service
  to the Maoris and the Maoris
  alone. I hope that if this comes
  to the notice of any thought-
  ful Maoris, they will give their
  opinions.
  RE Crompton, MB
  (Havelock North, September 28,
  19 45)

OUTING HOMOPHOBIA

Congratulations on your

outspoken Editorial on the

acquittal of six Christchurch

youths who went into Hagley

Park to hunt homosexuals and

the terms of the article to

which you call attention, and

desires me to assure you how

constantly the people of New

Zealand are in her thoughts

today.

Arthur Penn

Acting Private Secretary to the

Queen

(Buckingham Palace, March 10, 1942)

POWER TO THE PEOPLE

We wish to protest against a

statement made by Miss Nelle

Scanlan from Station 2YA

on December 30, 1941. Miss

Scanlan stated that Ireland

was like New Zealand in that

the country districts were

without electricity and were

forced to rely upon candles for

their light. We feel that this

derogatory statement casts a

slur upon the progressiveness

of this country, and we know

that any person who has trav-

elled throughout New Zealand

within the past few years can

testify to the fact that 99% of

New Zealand farmers are well

equipped with electricity for

lighting, heating and farm

machinery.

ER Webber (Miss), A Webber

(Mrs), AJ Meggett (Mrs)

(Stokes Valley, January 23, 1942)

GIVE US A BREAK

Your correspondent Hugh

Patterson sounds like some

superior European dealing with

mere natives in his sugges-

tions to rehabilitate the Maori

Battalion by offering them to

the Imperial authorities as a

permanent force. Perhaps it

would be better if those who

came later than the Maoris to

New Zealand would supply

personnel for such a force and

allow the Maoris to retain at

least some of their rights and

privileges in their own native

land. Let Hugh Patterson

and other Europeans provide

such a force with men. It is,

however, pleasing to note that

there will be no discrimination

in the matter of rehabilitation

of Maoris and Pakehas after

this war. Already Lieutenant-

Colonel Baker has outlined

the aspects of the scheme

applicable both to Maoris and

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The Editor, Listener, Private Bag 92512, Wellesley St, Auckland 1141.

Letters to the editor {[email protected]}

“One day, son, all this will be theirs.”