ALL ABOUT YOU love
T
all, dark, and
mysterious—that
may be your idea
of a dream date, but, too
much mystery can also spell
trouble. There is no denying
that it’s impossible to share
every minute detail in
a relationship, but a certain
level of transparency is
healthy. However, what if
you find yourself in
a situation wherein your
partner is overly secretive?
“I was in love with a man
who seemed affectionate
and loyal. Initially, he made
me feel like a queen—
showering me with gifts,
frequently taking me out for
dinner, and calling me every
hour to know how
I was doing. Yet something
was amiss—for instance,
he never introduced me to
his parents or sister,” recalls
Vaani Pinto, a former airline
staff member, based in
Chennai. Suspicions grew
stronger as he continued to
avoid discussing his family
with her. Pinto then decided
to do some sleuthing herself.
She got his address from
friends, and landed at his
residence while he was at
work. To her utter dismay,
she found that her partner
was a married man with
kids—a fact he skilfully hid.Picture this: You strongly
feel your partner is keeping
things from you, and decide
to confront him with
direct questions. When
you do so, take note of his
expressions—sometimes
they can give away all you
need. Experts say that
there are a number of facial
expressions and associated
reactions which indicate
someone is lying, and a
few of these can be causedSECRET GAMES
How do you know
your partner is
keeping things from
you? Hemchhaya
De shares how to
read tell-tale signsby nervousness. “Look for
reduced eye contact. Check
if he’s frowning—eyebrows
lean towards centre of the
forehead,” says Shamim
Deshmukh, a Mumbai-
based psychologist and
graphologist. She also says
a person's eyes darting
back and forth, shifting
towards the right ear as if
he is “constructing a picture
in his mind” is suspicious.
The signs in totality are
part of a physiological
reaction that indicates
he’s uncomfortable facing
your questions. “A sudden
stiffness in the body to
quell his nervous energy is
also common,” says Ritika
Aggarwal Mehta, consultant
psychologist at Jaslok
Hospital and Research
Centre, Mumbai.BODY TALK
From concealing illicit
sexual activity, problems
at work, to debts, there are
several secrets which,
when unravelled, can
leave you shattered. Look
out for the signs below.Hispastrelationshipsmay
have scarred him. For instance,
he might have been honest or
transparent, but this quality
may not have been
appreciated or reciprocated.
He might be suffering from
low self-esteem. This can be
a genuine concern, according
to experts. Due of low self-
esteem, he might be covering
up his flaws.
He finds it difficult to trust
anyone easily. Again, this may
have been caused by past
experiences. His ex might
have betrayed him. And that
has made him extra secretive.
He may have grown up with
controlling parents and
speaking up was discouraged.
So he is used to keeping
things to himself.WHY IS HE
LYING?