Family Tree USA – September 2019

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I

n January, Ray Santos received DNA results

that shocked him. According to his results,

Santo’s maternal grandfather—whom he

adores and who’s still alive—isn’t related to

him. And thus, that grandfather isn’t the bio-

logical father of Santos’ mother.

At fi rst, Santos kept a clear head, carefully

reviewing his results to confi rm this unex-

pected truth. But then his emotions kicked in.

His mother purchased the test as a gift for him,

and was eagerly awaiting results that he sud-

denly didn’t want to share. Then he realized

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Exploring your family history can be like opening Pandora’s box—you don’t know

what’s going to come out once you begin research, and revelations can’t be forgotten or returned to

the box. You might make discoveries that help you feel more connected to others or strengthen your

sense of identity. But you may also come face to face with your ancestors’ bad behavior, tragic experi-

ences or long-forgotten secrets.

Turning up diffi cult information, you may feel angry, betrayed, embarrassed, confused, repulsed or

ashamed. What can you do with these feelings?

We’ve collected stories that are startling, in one way or another, from genealogists across the United

States. Each person has found a way to cope with—or at least try to make sense of—what they uncov-

ered. If you fi nd yourself needing to make peace with the past, perhaps there’s a solution for you here.

Note: The stories that follow contain details that some readers might fi nd upsetting, so continue

with caution. Certain names have been changed to protect the individuals’ privacy.

his grandfather might not even know. Santos

wanted time to absorb the news and plan his

next steps.

After getting advice from his father, Santos

told his mother that same night. The conversa-

tion went well, thanks in large part to his moth-

er’s unfailing sense of humor. But the family

was shaken, and Santos realized the revelation

could aff ect others in the family. Only half-jok-

ingly Santos said, “There needs to be a ‘bomb-

shell DNA results’ support group.” (As we’ll

discuss later, these kinds of communities exist!)

Defusing a DNA Bombshell