See Beyond – July 2019

July/August 2019 15

Victoria Clark, a psychology major at the University of West Florida,aspires

to become a therapist for children. An avid sailor and curious

wanderer of the world, sheloves meetingnew people, push-

ing her limits, and learningabout the universe.Rain or shine,

shecan be found outside,writing in a beat up journal she jok-

ingly calls herLife Documentation Book.After her father died,

Victoria sought comfort in reading andwriting and discovered

her passion, with no desire everto stop the words that flow

from her heart, to her mind, to her fingertips, and onto paper.

The ultrasound technician moved the machine
around, showing us the baby’s head and stomach,
the tiny feet with even tinier toes, the nose (un-
mistakably my own) sticking out of a sweet little
face. With each picture, Steven and I fell more in
love with our little one. We saw the baby move
against the pressure of the machine and twist away
from us each time we tried to find out the gender.

Then, there it was.

Steven’s eyes filled with tears and he began kissing
my hand and laughing with excitement as he said,
“We’re having a baby boy.”

Everything became more real in that single mo-
ment. In August, we will become the parents of a
little boy. We told our parents and the excitement
spread from there.

Another milestone happened when we were
driving from Jacksonville to Pensacola, with a car
full of freshly purchased IKEA furniture for our
new home. I had told Steven a week or so earlier
that I expect to feel movement any day now, but
so far nothing. On our five-hour drive home, we
listened to all sorts of music, trying to stay awake.
At times, we sang along. I threw on some Bob
Marley to spark our island-living dreams. As the
reggae undertone filled the car, I realized that there

wasn’t just two people enjoying the music, but

three.

The flutters started. The movements were small,

but undeniable. Tears welled in my eyes. I reached

out to grab Steven’s hand and tell him. There was

another person, a body entirely separate from my

own, moving inside mine, pushing against the

pressure of my hand with all the strength he could

muster at twenty weeks along. I was astonished.

It was mid-March when I first felt our baby kick.

Since then, he has definitely grown stronger.

While I go about the routine experiences of my

day, my little boy often makes his presence known

to me with a little kick or nudge. It makes me

pause and appreciate this blessing.

I am asked constantly if Steven and I are “ready”

to have a baby. “Ready” is a relative term. Some

couples plan for their children, and we didn’t. But

that doesn’t mean we aren’t ready. When Steven

lays his head on my chest, with his hand on my

stomach, he speaks to our son as if he is already

born and lying beside us. I can barely hear his

voice, but that’s OK. They’re just getting acquaint-

ed. I close my eyes and find such wonderful peace,

feeling Steven’s warm hand on my stomach and

our son kicking in response to his daddy.

Our son is a blessing, and we are ready.

While I go about the routine experiences of my day, my little boy

often makes his presence known to me with a little kick or nudge.