the people I worked with. In fact, many saw in me
what I was incapable of seeing—that despite my
addiction, I was becoming more human, that
I was a good person contrary to my personal be-
liefs otherwise. I began to abandon my values and
beliefs that were a part of addiction and street life.
I was trying to let go of the violence in my heart,
which would take some time, often coming out in
words more than actions. I wanted to be a good
person so much that I joined community organi-
zations to try to help the small town where I lived.
But I still did not believe I was a good person.
I confused recognition in the community with
mental wellness.
Chuang Tzu says, “The Sages of old first strength-
ened their own character before they tried to
strengthen that of others.” I first learned this in a
treatment center in 2007, not in those words, but
in concept. I also took this to mean that without
self-love, loving others is hard. I started the diffi-
cult work of strengthening my character while
I continued to help people at the nursing home.
In the work I do now with adolescents, adults, and
children, I take this to heart. My character is what
allows me to be a good therapist, to connect with
my clients. And without it, I could not help any-
one. The people who come to me for help are not
too much different from me. The people strug-
gling with addiction are not bad people—they
are sick, and they sometimes do bad things. We
cannot confuse bad behavior with bad character.
People with other mental illnesses or family prob-
lems are just trying to get well, too. As a therapist,
I recognize that not everyone will get better, but
they all have a chance. By appealing to the better
nature of their character, they begin to flourish
and understand themselves. Allow me to provide
an example.Steven (name changed to protect confidentiality)
was referred to me by parole and probation. He
was on probation for a drug offense and was court
ordered to receive substance abuse treatment.
Steven was not my typical client, with criminal
conduct and addiction issues. The type of crimesThe people struggling with addiction are not bad people—
they are sick, and they sometimes do bad things.
Photo credit © Nikko MacaspacPhoto credit © Nikko MacaspacPhoto credit © Nikko MacaspacPhoto credit © Nikko Macaspac