Daily Mail, Wednesday, August 7, 2019 Page 17
M
uch fanfare over
the news surgeons
have found a way
to delay the meno-
pause. Nine British
women have undergone the
procedure, which involves
an ovarian implant, at a cost
of around £10,000 per patient.
Not only does the operation
reverse unwelcome symptoms,
from hot flushes to the sense of
decrepitude that comes with the
tapering of female hormones, it
may even restore fertility.
huzzah! That, at least, seems to
be the general consensus.
And for women who either enter
the menopause early or haven’t
yet been able to start a family, I
would agree unconditionally. But,
for the rest of us, I’m not so sure.
Don’t get me wrong — I hated
the menopause. I suffered the full
gamut of symptoms, from flushes
that rose like volcanic lava, to
muscle fatigue and joint pain.
I began to chunk up like a
labrador and no amount of exercise
or diet made a difference.
My hair grew even thinner, my
skin became dry, my fingers and
feet started to swell and my blood
pressure soared. I felt as though
Mother Nature wanted me dead.N
oT surprisingly, I was
also all over the place
emotionally. My poor
family had to put up
with months of me being alter-
nately sad, hysterical, furious,
exhausted, confused and generally
more bonkers than usual. Luckily,
I was eventually prescribed hRT
(hormone replacement therapy)
and the nightmare receded.
I took the pills, very successfully,
for around two years, and have
been hRT-free for just over 18
months. I feel better than I have
for a long time. And I’m convinced
it’s all thanks to the menopause.
For the first time in my adult
life, I am not a slave to my
hormones. The highs and lows of
the menstrual cycle have been
replaced with a single-note
existence, in which I wake up
every morning feeling mostly the
same as the day before (give or
take the odd glass of wine). Much,
as I imagine, most men do, which
probably explains why they came
to be in charge for so long.
My pre-menopause hormones
ruled my life. And now they don’t.
No more bloating, breakouts orheadaches, no more bursting into
tears for no reason or requiring
chocolate at odd times of the day
and night. hormonally speaking, I
am a blank page. And I love it. In
fact, I’d say it’s been a liberation.
Forget the Pill, it’s the menopause
that truly sets a woman free. Sure,
the transition is unpleasant — like
becoming a teenager in reverse.
But, afterwards, it’s no longer all
about living everyone else’s life for
them, it’s about living your own.
This is what TV presenter Fern
Britton meant when she talked
about jettisoning some of her
obligations now that her children
are older, and ‘repowering’ her life
aged 62.
contrast that with poor Anna
Friel. At 43, actress Friel — mother
to a teenage daughter — is in the
thick of it in terms of juggling work
and family life, and is clearly feeling
it. ‘Men don’t have to have babies
or periods and they grow older
more beautifully,’ she says, some-
what wistfully. And she’s right.
The good news, Anna, is there’s
light at the end of that tunnel.
Freedom from all that hormonal
soup. It won’t be pretty and it
won’t be easy — but, trust me,
once you’re over the hump, there
is no looking back.SarahVine
DON’T DISS DOOLEY
HOLLYWOOD TO SUNSET STRIP?
Columnist
of the year
STORM clouds are gather-
ing for Summer Monteys-
Fullam (pictured left). Paul
Hollywood’s ex-girlfriend’s
outrage at the notion she
may be ‘courting paps’ —
paparazzi photographers
— might be rather more
plausible if she didn’t strolldown the street dressed as
though she were about to
go on stage in a strip club.
A boob tube and micro-
mini is not exactly an outfit
that screams: ‘Don’t look at
me.’ Still, if you ask me, it’s
a case of just deserts — for
both of them.No DouBT Michael
Buerk has his tongue
firmly in his cheek when he
says letting obese people die
early will save the NhS a
small fortune. But where I
will take him to task is this
notion that the overweight
are simply ‘weak’.
Buerk strikes me as one of
those naturally skinny people
who’s so full of nervous energyhe would struggle to put on
an ounce.
his sort simply don’t know
what it’s like to have to battle
with your weight every hour
of every day — as I have for
most of my adult life.
It’s exhausting, miserable
and rather joyless. having
otherwise intelligent men
like Buerk take such an ill-
informed line is infuriating.STACEY DOOLEY has been attacked for
claiming that a group of women she
encountered while filming for Pan-
orama in a Kurdish-controlled camp
were performing an ‘IS salute’.
Experts were quick to point out
that the gesture — a raised index
finger — is commonplace in the
Muslim world, symbolising the one-
ness of God, and is not specific to
fundamentalist supporters of IS.
I understand this, but it’s also thecase that, sometimes, we have seen
this gesture used by Islamist terror-
ists and so-called hate preachers.
Having met Dooley and shared a
discussion panel with her, I really
don’t think she would have intention-
ally misinterpreted the situation.
But then, as a young woman who
isn’t afraid to say what she thinks,
Dooley is a prime target for those who
find her honesty and no-nonsense
style at odds with their own agenda.FAceBook friends are
better than neighbours, says
man from the Institute for
Facebook Studies. This is,
apparently, because people
choose their online friends —
whereas neighbours, like rela-
tives, are beyond our control.
This may be true; whether
it’s good for us is anotherquestion. Social media
echo chambers are bad for
humanity because they make
us less, not more, tolerant of
opposing views.
Dealing with people you
can’t stand makes for a more
interesting life and teaches
patience and politeness: skills
that are increasingly rare.ANoTheR season of Strictly
come Dancing, another slew of
made-up controversies. Who
cares if James cracknell (left) is
being paid more than challenge
Anneka, or if no one has ever
heard of half of them — it’s
all such predictable, stage-
managed drivel.
I can’t help thinking there
are better things to be spend-
ing licence-payers’ money on
than a bunch of sequin-clad
celebrities — who’ll only end up
snogging each other anyway.Friends without benefits
are increasingly rare.Strictly drives
me Crackers...
QUELLE surprise!
Channel 4 News
presenter Jon Snow has
been exonerated of
racism after saying of a
pro-Brexit rally that
he had ‘never seen so
many white people in
one place’. If he’d said
that about any other
ethnic group, he would
probably never work again.The word ‘tragic’ is overused these days but, oh, that
little French boy allegedly thrown off a viewing plat-
form at the Tate Modern is something else. I can’t even
begin to imagine the bottomless agony his parents must
be enduring, as well as the sense of utter helplessness.
To have a child quite literally snatched
away in such a violent manner is every
parent’s worst nightmare: a terrible
reminder that it doesn’t matter how
deeply you love them, how well you teach
them, how much broccoli you feed them,
you can never truly protect them from the
senseless injustices of a cruel world.Is It just me or is it a bit weird to wish
your wife Happy Birthday, as Prince Harry
did this week, via your official Instagram page?
Or is the Duchess of sussex now such a saint
that a bunch of flowers and a peck on the
cheek would be considered blasphemous?FAR be it from me to question
the wisdom of climate change’s
very own Joan of Arc, Swedish teen
Greta Thunberg (right), but I just
thought I should check. She does
know, doesn’t she, that Pierre
Casiraghi, the man whose yacht she
is hitching a ride on to get to New
York, belongs to the Monaco royal
family, and that Monaco is a tax
haven that attracts some of the
least savoury and least eco-minded
individuals on the planet?
Just be a little careful who you’re
sailing into the sunset with, Greta.The Pill?
No, it’s the
menopause
that really
sets us free
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