JULY & AUGUST 2019 | 69punishment. So, the process is positive
for you and your child. There are even
more benefits.
Reward charts...
✓ encourage parents to seek positive
behaviour
✓ create positive interaction between
parents and children
✓ promote a positive family spirit
✓ encourage parents and children to
work together
✓ lead to consistency because both
parents follow the same strategy
✓ create a feeling of success and internal
motivation, which develops self-esteem
✓ give children immediate positive
feedback on their achievements
✓ encourage children to remember
the rules and develop a sense
of responsibility.
WHAT SHOULD A STAR
CHART LOOK LIKE?
Want to ensure your reward chart will
work? Follow these principles:
✓ It’s important for you as parents to
decide together what behaviour needs
to be changed, so you can use the chart
together and, in this way, encourage your
children as a unit.
✓ Don’t try and change too many things
at any one time. It will overwhelm your
young child. Don’t choose more than
three things that need to change: a
difficult, a medium and an easy task.
✓ Describe the items on your reward
chart in positive terms to your child and
be very specific. Don’t say, “Your room
should not be untidy.” Rather say, “Tidy
up your room before bedtime: Put your
toys in their boxes.”
✓ Make it age appropriate
and visual. Your child can’t
read, so a picture of toys in
a box will work better. In this way, a child
can see for herself what’s expected.
✓ Don’t set the rewards bar too high.
The younger your child, the easier she’ll
lose heart if it takes too long to obtain
the reward. Rather scale down on the
goal and the reward, like an extra story
at bedtime for five stars rather than a big
gift after 50 stars.
✓ Add a bonus row for exceptionally
good behaviour, like other behaviour
patterns you as parents want to
encourage and reinforce.
✓ Evaluate the tasks on the reward chart
as soon as your child has earned her
reward. Keep the goals that have not
been met on the chart, and replace the
goals met with new ones, so she doesn’t
become bored. She can now earn
bonus stars with the tasks that have
been replaced.MAKE IT WORK EVERY DAY
You can stick a pretty reward chart
against the wall, but it serves no purpose
if it’s not used consistently – which can be
a challenge sometimes!
Make reward charts part of your daily
routine. Set aside a specific time slot to
award stars, like just before dinnertime.
If your child struggles to wait that long,
you can reward her twice or three times
a day, like early in the day for routine
morning chores and at dinnertime for
other chores.
Never award stars that have not beenearned. If your child has not done what’s
on the chart, explain why you can’t give
a star. The same goes for when she
has earned one. You need to help her
understand it was her choice: “You chose
to tidy your room, so you chose to get a
star” or “You chose to hit daddy, so you
chose not to earn a star.”
Help your child to stay motivated even
if she’s had a bad day: “Today was
a difficult day, but you can try again
tomorrow. I know you can get it right.”
Your child should be proud of every star
she earns. Allow her to brag a bit by
showing other close friends and family
like gogo and mkhulu.
In these moments, don’t comment on
her bad days – focus on her successes.
Be consistent. The more your child sees
that the reward chart is important to you
as a parent, the more important it will be
to her. It is important that both parents
apply the reward chart. Take turns
handing out stars and make an occasion
of it: Baba can lift the little one on his
shoulders if he dishes out a star, while
Mama can help her stick the star herself.
Make the reward chart fun, so that
it’s a positive experience for your child
that makes her feel good about herself
and something with which she can
succeed. YBTIP:
Involve your child
in making the reward
chart. Allow her to
decorate to her heart’s
content, so that she
takes ownership of itWHAT REWARD?
The secret to reward charts is that the
reward must be something that your
child really wants, something she’ll
be prepared to work for – but also
something that will work for you as
a parent.
Choose three practical, feasible
and appropriate rewards that you
know your child will like, like going to
the zoo.
“You can ask your child to choose
the reward she wants the most.”
Rather reward your child with
quality time than gifts or money.Make sure to give your child the
reward you promised; otherwise it
can be quite disheartening. If the
reward is an outing, you need to
explain exactly when it will happen
and stick to your promise.
It’s extremely important that your
child gets her reward, but it’s even
more important to develop a sense
of responsibility. For this reason, you
should combine the reward with
a positive statement, such as: “You
had a very good week. I’m so glad
we can go to the zoo. You can feel
very proud of yourself.”1 Don’t be vague on a reward chart.
“Neat” and “naughty” can mean
many things. Your child should know
exactly what’s expected of her – the
more specific you are, the greater
the chance on success.
2 Don’t give other gifts or rewards
during the time your child’s working
towards the one on the chart.
Doing so reinforces the idea that
she doesn’t really have to work to
change her behaviour.
3 Don’t use the reward chart as
punishment. Stars can’t be taken
away. Bad behaviour does not
override good behaviour; good
behaviour stays good. Don’t use
another device – like black marks
or strikes – for bad behaviour.
A reward chart has a single focus:
positive reinforcement.
4 Don’t nag or scold if your child
does not do what the reward chart
requires. “Punish” her by not giving
a star.
5 Don’t have more than one
reward chart.5 Don’ts