and narrow was that I could never disappoint my father; I had too
much love and respect for both of my parents.
After a brief career in advertising, I was married at 20 years old
and became a mother at 22. I don’t remember even holding a
baby until I was handed my first little girl. Ignorance was bliss; I
found that doing what came naturally (with advice from Dr
Spock, the only self-help book of the time) seemed to work. Of
course, there was a mothercraft nurse to help when we got home
from 10 days in hospital, and the ‘new father’, who was a
surprising mine of information.
I confess that a library book was my secret weapon for breast-
feeding. It made for a relaxed mother and a happy baby. There
were certain stresses in being a stay-at-home mother, but the
consolation was that most of my friends were in the same boat.
Staying home to care for the family seemed like an overdose of
domesticity. However, our groceries were delivered by a gentleman
wearing a shirt and tie; there was a dear old baker the children
called Toast; a lady with a car-load of library books. Everything
was at our doorstep.
I always had a creative project on hand, from trompe l’oeil
painting to wedding dresses, but finally the right time came for me
to restart my career. It now seems I am driven and I feel so fortu-
nate that I have my art, something I love doing, that fills every day.
This year, it seems that you are all spreading your wings. As one
of you said: “I don’t want to die wondering.” We are so happy to
see you all following your dreams. Remember, your forebears came
from the UK and the mountains of northern Italy in the
mid-1800s. Their sense of adventure is part of who you are today.
An old Italian friend told me that a woman must have a passion
in life aside from the love of her husband and family. For me, this
is my painting, and something I will have in my life forever. So
girls, there is life after children and, rather than feeling obsolete
and invisible, you will have a new raison d’etre.Grace Mothers: Letters to Our Children, edited by Georgie Abay
JULIE ADAMS (Bauer Publishing), $65, is out April 1, on magshop.com.au.
DIANA WATSONArtist and mother
“Never let a chance go by... youth is not eternal.”“Living near the water inspires such possibility.”These are the kinds of lovely
words that linger in your mind after you visit Watson, one of Australia’s most talented painters.The 73-year-old mother of three is
full of wonderful reflections on life and she’s the kind of woman with whom you could happily talk for hours on end. After
visiting Watson’s charming Kirribilli apartment, on the edge of Sydney Harbour, filled with her spectacular oil-on-canvas
paintings, your curiosity may lead you to wonder how it all began. Given her great success over the past decade — her painting
Bed of Rosesfound its way to Hollywood, appearing on the set ofCollateral Beauty(starring Kate Winslet, Helen Mirren and Will
Smith), and she created a mural (her largest) for The Palm hotel in Dubai — it’s surprising to discover that it’s a career she didn’t
wholly pursue until after her three daughters had left home. In fact,Watson didn’t start painting professionally until the age of 50.
Watson is also a grandmother to seven children.THANK YOU FOR THE GIFT OF MOTHERHOOD.
Whatever would I do without you? As adults you have become my
best friends and given me seven amazing young people, our grand-
children. Watching over you, from birth to becoming mothers
yourselves, has been joyous. If there was any heartache or worry, I
have blissfully forgotten those moments. They were only moments.
I have often thought that I no longer need to give you advice
unless you ask for it. I give you credit for having your feet firmly
planted on the ground, that the life decisions you make are the best.
When you all left school it was amazing to find we all had the
same interests. Our conversations revolved around every aspect of
design and food. It wasn’t surprising when the eldest of you became
an architect, the second a paediatric dietician, and the youngest,
the designer of an It handbag that is sold worldwide. Naturally, we
are more than proud of you.
The only way to learn about life and parenting is from your own
parents. This statement comes with a huge warning: being a parent
is the greatest, most important responsibility we ever face. It is
about setting an example and being consistent with love, as well as
discipline. If we live metaphorically untidy lives, our children will
not know any better. The reply to this is that we have choices.
My parents and I lived on a horse stud at the foot of the Darling
Ranges. It was an idyllic life and I did not miss having siblings
until my parents were in their final years. My childhood memories
are of my paternal grandfather, an old gold miner who loved horses
and always had peppermints in his pockets — for them and me.
Our house was surrounded by fig and almond trees. We had an
orchard of citrus fruit and peaches, and a big old mulberry tree in
the middle of a stallion yard. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time
sitting in trees and eating whatever was in season. We had a dairy
farm next door and a billy of milk was hung on the fence for us
every morning. It must have been the best diet for a small child.
I don’t think my parents had to face many problems with an only
child. As far as I remember, they never had to discipline me; I knew
there were boundaries. I always felt loved, but never spoilt. Boarding
school from eight years old taught me about never questioning
rules and living with a whole lot of other girls; about self-discipline,
punctuality and respect. I made friends I would have for the rest of
my life. And as I grew up, the one thing that kept me on the straight163 HARPERSBAZAAR.COM.AU April 2019