PHOTOGRAPHY
HEMA PATEL
Y
our sister-in-law is planning
a special anniversary dinner
for your in-laws at her house
at 7.30pm and you ask
(nicely) if she could make it a little
earlier because your nine-month-old
baby, who doesn’t nap so regularly,
sometimes falls asleep at 5.45m. Her
response, “Oh just relax! She’ll be fine.”
Perhaps, but you know that if there’s a
meltdown, it's going to be your problem.
Plus, you know you’ll end up feeling
guilty for spoiling the special evening.
This got me thinking, what does
“just relax” mean anyway? Cross
your fingers? Don’t worry, she won’t
go to sleep? Ignore your baby
as she’s creating a scene?
Sure relaxing is good for you − butBehind the scenes
at our photo shoots this month.Look out for our September
edition, on sale 19 AugustJust relax?
babysitting duty with a friend, a quiet
hour at church or hanging out with
other like-minded families who help
you to feel good about yourself. Give
yourself permission to do those things.
It’s also OK to relax (oops!) your
standards every now and then when
your batteries are running low –
letting your kids watch TV for a little
longer than usual, or letting them
have two biscuits instead of one.
As any parent will know, raising
little ones is an ongoing struggle
between sticking to long-term goals
and just doing what it takes to get
through the next five minutes. As
clinical psychologists remind us,
trust your instincts and don’t feel
pressurised to feel guilty about putting
your needs above those of others.
Besides, we’ve got your back
with plenty of expert tips and
tricks to help you navigate all the
ups and downs of this tumultuous
journey called parenthood!people (often those who
don’t have little ones)
usually tell you to relax at
moments when it’s virtually
impossible for you to do so,
like when you’re already
frazzled from trying to steer
a tired and cranky infant
through a decidedly infant-
unfriendly situation, such
as your cousin’s wedding.
The implication is that
“relaxing” will magically
fix the situation. But as
we know, it’s the opposite. Fixing the
situation is usually what helps you relax!
So, let’s stop this insanity now. (Quick,
someone start a Facebook group
called Parents Who Don’t Want to Be
Told to Relax.) Next time someone tells
you to “just relax” in a tense moment,
try to keep your cool while navigating
whatever problem it is that’s making
it hard for you to... you know, relax.
The time to truly relax is when
you’ve dealt with or removed the
stressors. Admittedly, parents (and
other busy people) can easily forget
to do this. In an unstressful moment,
think about what makes you feel
relaxed. That could be an adults-
only brunch on a Sunday morning,
a yoga class, running, exchanging