48 | AUGUST 2019 | L&LGet to know why your little one doesn’t want to let go
of her dummy or favourite toy. By Hayley Alexander
D
oes your baby or toddler
have a toy, blanket, stuffed
animal, or a dummy that
she won’t go anywhere
without? Or are you still trying to
make the transition from breast or
bottle feeding to drinking from a
cup? Here’s how you can wean your
child off these comforts and security
objects when the time is right.Security objects
Children are not the only ones who
enjoy comforters. in fact, adults
enjoy them too. While we may keep
a photograph in our purse or a
favourite lipstick on us at all times
to help us feel more secure, toddler
comforters generally consist of
bottles, dummies, toys and security
blankets. There’s nothing intrinsically
wrong with any of these, as long as
the habit is not encouraged by an
underlying emotional problem.
According to Heidi Janit, a preschool
teacher, plenty fuss is made at times by
parents and teachers about kids having
comfort items − so much so that they
feel the need to take these items away
or use bribes and punishments to wean
them off their beloved attachments.
It’s vital to realise that a child will let go
of whatever comfort toy she has, be
it a teddy, blanket, bottle or dummy,when there’s no longer a need for
it. Children know themselves best
− they know what they do or don’t
need. Heidi’s advice is that you
shouldn’t throw away a comfort
toy without first speaking to your
child and getting her permission,
otherwise this can cause a lot of
resentment on the child’s part.The transition object
According to the theories of
psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott,
the transition object is typically
something soft, like a blanket
or soft toy that’s reminiscent of
the mother’s warm arms and
breasts. “By cuddling the
object, children will feel they’re
cuddling the mother and feel
comforted,” he states.
The use of transition objects
usually start to appear at around
four to six months, when a baby
is moving towards the external
world, but hasn’t quite separated
it from the internal world. Taking
away the object from your child
can cause great anxiety as she is
now truly without her mother and
suffers great feelings of loss and
aloneness. Whatever the “real-
world” value of the object, in the
eyes of a child it’s priceless.MORE
THAN JUST
A TEDDY
BEAR
What about
dummies?
A problem can occur when the object
is something on which your child fixates
rather than using it to transition to
independence.
Dummies
allow your
child to
suckle, an
activity they find
very calming.
Although some
professionals have
a dislike of dummies,
there’s no one has ever
found any evidence to indicate
that they do harm. Objection to them
is based more on aesthetic grounds
than medical ones. It’s claimed that
dummies are unhygienic, but so are 10
dirty fingers that would be inserted into
the mouth if the dummy wasn’t there.
According to Dr Christopher Green in
his book, Toddler Taming Tips: A Parent’s
Guide to the First Four Years, there’s no
harm in giving your baby a dummy,
especially if it helps to calm her when
she’s irritable or being difficult or as a
result of teething. He does, however,
recommend you start taking away the
dummy from about two-and-a-half years
old. “It’s usually best to be brave, throw
it away and then brace yourself for the.
.
.