Living and Loving – August 2019

baby & toddler

L&L | AUGUST 2019 | 49

UNDERSTANDING

YOUR CHILD

Taking away your child’s favourite

comfort object will only result in it

soon being replaced by another.

A better approach, explains

Heidi, is to try to completely

understand your child’s need for

clinging on to an external entity:

● EMOTIONAL REASON. If your

child suddenly develops

an attachment to a toy or

item, it could indicate an

underlying emotional issue

or that something could be

troubling her. If this happens,

you can gently ask her

questions about what’s wrong

or if she is feeling sad.

● PHYSICAL REASON. If your

child has been exposed to

violence or a divorce or death

in the family, a comfort toy

will often provide a sense

of security and safety.

● PERSONAL REASON. Sometimes

the need for a comforter

depends on a child’s

personality. Children who are

very shy and self-conscious

tend to hang onto comfort

items longer than those who are

confident and autonomous. LL

repercussions. If you don’t have the

courage to discard it so abruptly, you

may want to try a gradual withdrawal by

“losing” it or “accidentally” damaging

it. (For tips to wean your baby off his

dummy, visit livingandloving.co.za.)

Weaning your

little one off his

comfort object

When weaning your child off the

breast, it’s usually a good idea to get

someone else to offer a cup or food

at first. Expressing milk into a bottle or

cup will help your little one get used to

the idea of feeding from a container,

and eventually you’ll most likely find

that toddlers tend to prefer feeding

themselves anyway. Some children

do well if you gradually reduce their

access to the comforter, for example,

by breastfeeding or allowing them

to have a bottle at breakfast and

bedtime only, and then eventually

removing it altogether. Other children

respond well if you describe giving up

the comforter as a way to be grown-

up. You could even have a ritual

where you and your child put all the

bottles and dummies in the bin and,

in turn, you offer a reward, such as

giving your little one a special cup

with her favourite cartoon character

on it. It’s completely normal for your

toddler to hold onto something

in order to feel more at ease as

she bravely enters the pathway to

independence. By trying to understand

her needs, you will help her to let go

of her insecurities along the way.

Got to livingandloving

for more on the ages and

stages of separation anxiety.

LIVING

AND

LOVING

.CO.ZA

PHOTOGRAPHY

GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK