Living and Loving – August 2019

baby & toddler

PHOTOGRAPHY

GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK

If you don’t listen

to me, I’m going to

phone the police!

While resorting to this scare tactic

may seem like the only solution

in those frustrating times when

you’re trying to discipline a difficult

toddler, she has no idea how to

distinguish whether you’re being

serious or not, says Candice. “This

form of consequential disciplining

may not be the most appropriate

or effective way to discipline

your little one as her inability

to think abstractly can limit her

understanding of what you're

trying to achieve. It may also leave

her in a state of fear about the

police actually coming for her."

RATHER: Get down to her level and

use simple words to clearly explain

exactly what you’re asking. Give

calm but firm warnings and make

the consequences concrete,

for example, "Mommy can see

that you are upset. I would like

you to stop throwing your toys or

they will be packed away until

you are calmer." Assist her in

achieving the desired behaviour

by offering support and guidance,

making sure that you follow

through and remain consistent.

Come on, say hello!

We live in a society where social norms

like social engagement, greeting

people and conversing is accepted

and desired and parents often teach

these social norms to their children

from a young age. “Some parents

find it frustrating or embarrassing

when their little one doesn’t

greet other people and will

say things such as ‘Stop

being shy’ or ‘You’re

not being a very nice

boy/girl now’,” says

Candice. “However,

the fact is that toddlers

and young children

are only starting

to develop the

awareness of others

at this age and

may feel unsure,

confused or afraid about interacting

with strangers or even people they

know. It’s not because they’re being

naughty or rude but because they’re

trying to figure things out for themselves

which is why being punitive about their

emotions during these interactions won’t

help to achieve the desired interaction.”

RATHER: Assist your little one by

introducing the person to her and if

she’s apprehensive, acknowledge

this by comforting her, then give

her the space to warm up to that

person at her own pace. LL

Click on Family, then General Articles

for 10 rookie mistakes parents

make and how to avoid them.

LIVING

AND

LOVING

.CO.ZA

64 | AUGUST 2019 | L&L