numberofyearsago,I letoutmy
house more or less ona whim,
packed 30 kg of bags, with 10 kg
ofextrabaggagehungaroundmy
neckundera newdesignerjersey,
andoffI wenttoKorea.Here,I was
goingtogenerateaformidablepensionbyteaching
English,finisha novel,getmysonthroughhisarchi-
tecturestudiesandworktowardsothernoblethings
yetunclear.I stayedfortwoyears,finishedthenovel,
builtnopensiontospeakofandcame back to face an
extendedstintofrentalliving.
One place was sold, another burnt down, one
had the owner returning unexpectedly. And so it
went.Therewerealsothein-betweenones. The last –
a Victoriancottagedubbedthemole
holeonaccountofthedarkinterior
andthelongverticalnarrownessof
it–forcedmetotaketheplunge,
sellmyoldhouseandbuyanoth-
er.Ahousefloodedwithlight.In
Simon’s Town, our little outpost.
Neatlyensconcedhereinparadise,
I sitontheverandaandlookout,
reelingfrommygoodfortune.
To quotefrom mybook: “The
sea,thedistantmountains,thehigh
sky,andwhenit islowyouareheldinclouds,orjusta
filmthroughwhichthesettingsunshines.Thecolours,
strong,attimes soft, butalways wrenchingand,at
night,themoon,thestars,theseaallglitter.Thebeauty
is unbearable.It is sointenseyoufeelyourDNAchange
butthen,ofcourse,nothingchanges.Youarenotable
toabsorbthebeauty,etchit into forever. It passes away
asif it hadneverexisted.”
It isa visceralspace,thishouse;it cutsintomyDNA.
Here,nothingjars.Thegoldenratiomustbeatwork:
theproportionsofthewideliving-roomwindowtothe
wall,theheightoftheceilingtothewidthofthewall,
thedepthoftheopen-planlayouttoitswidth– any
possiblecombination – spread horizontally to frame
theseaoutside.
Something of a miracle, I think, that these di-
mensions seem to followwhat theancient Greeks
discovered:The proportionsofthekeyelementsof
many animals, insects, plants, shells, the solar system,
In herhousewithits perfectproportions,KarinCronjecontemplates
the danger of the golden ratio.
THE HARMONY OF PHI SPACE
A
PORTRAITROZMISSELHORNeventhestrandsofourDNAarebasedontheratio
of1.618to1.Phi.Thegolden ratio. It is said to be the
fingerprintofGod.
WhenI viewedthehouse,therewasa specificspot
atwhich,withoutmoving,I feltmyarmsopen,my
sternumliftandmylungsfilldeeply.I expanded into
thevastnessofalllife.It wasthehouseforme.
Butthereisa problemwithsuchharmony.
It leavesyoudefenseless.Inthisexpansion,allflow
inandthroughme;I feellifeinitsrawness.Inmybook
I wrote,littleknowingitwillonlyreallybetruenow:
“Thisisthetimeforthestillpoint.Fromwhichallcan
ariseandallcanpass.”Butnow,oh,I amafraid.
MightI discover here,in my openness,thatmy
irrationalfearofthedullnessmiddleagemayhold
is still alive and well? The fear that drove
me relentlesslyfromone houseto thenext,
aterribledisruption,todistractmefromthe
existentialholeofnothingness:keepingonand
mindlesslyonwhilethebestoflifeispast.
WhatnewcurveballmightI throwmyway
to shatter thedanger the still point holds?
Perhapsstart moving again, take off to another
country?
Isthishousecurseorblessing?
No!It’sintheclosedbody,itsskirtingthestill
point,thisiswhereextinctionthrives.I must
letthefearlurkinginthebeautyoverwhelmme,play
BachandBeethovenatfullblastandthroughtheorder
andmayhemoftheirmusicI can,I shall,spiralintomy
beautiful,privatemadnessandstarttomove,clum-
sily,faster,falling,spreadingmybodyonthecarpet,
expandingthroughthehousewithitslivingwalls,like
breathingskin,intothesky,downintotheearthofmy
beginnings.Aahh!I’mriddledwithfear,butI am alive.
Alive!I amwhereallcanarise.Andallawaits.
In the harmony of my phi house.KarinCronjeis a part-timelecturerin theMusicLiteracy
Departmentof StellenboschUniversity.HermemoirThere
GoesEnglishTeacher(ModjajiBooks,2008)spanstwo
yearsof heradventuresandmisadventuresas an English
teacherin a smallKoreanvillageandlaterat a university,
as wellas herdisastrousandscandalousattemptsat
resettlingbackhome.It’s describedin theSundayTimesas
“utterlycompelling”andas an “authenticandcourageous
explorationof thecomplexityandmessinessof onehuman
life.” [email protected] on Instagram and Facebook.IT IS A VISCERAL
SPACE,THISHOUSE;
IT CUTSINTOMY DNA.
HERE,NOTHINGJARS.
THEGOLDENRATIO
MUST BE AT WORK.visi.co.zaAUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2019
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