DearJude,
Mydreamholidayturnedinto
a moraldilemmanightmare.
I naggedthehusbandtogoon
holidaywithmeandhefinally
relented– andwewentaway
to the tropics and got some
much-needed sun. But on day
two at the resort, I saw a
couple frolicking together on
the beach, and eventually
realised it was the husband of
my daughter’s friend, with
another woman! When we
were seated near each other at
dinner, he made excuses about
who the woman was – a work
client who he ran into during
his golfing holiday, apparently.
It was a shame his wife couldn’t
make it, he said.
I could barely sleep for the
rest of the holiday. I did some
digging and discovered he
was indeed staying in the same
room as the woman. So now,
do I tell my daughter? Does
the wife know he has affairs?
Will it just embarrass her?
I don’t want to be responsible
formy daughter falling out with
herfriend, but I don’t know
if I can sit on this one. My
husband had a fantastic
holiday and wants to do
it again soon. I, however,
am a nervous wreck!The situation you describe
indeed sounds like a moral
dilemma. Let’s think of it
firstlyfrom his point of view.
Heknows he has been seen byyou and offered his explanation
as a dinner with a female client.
He must be presuming he has
sold the story successfully and
you’ve bought it.
What he doesn’t know is that
you saw them frolicking on the
beach and you also know they
are roomies. She is clearly far
more than (and not even) a
client. Go you, Sherlock!
You could play him at his own
game and take his explanation
at face value and pass that
information on to your daughter:
“I saw so-and-so while we were
on holiday. He was on a golfing
holiday – although the night
I saw him he was dining with a
woman who he said was a client
of his. Be great to be able to
travel to such a lovely tropical
place for work. I wonder what
she does for a job?” Then she
can run with it and join the dots.
Or you could tell your
daughter all you know and
she can choose to either tell
her friend or use the innocent
line herself to her friend about
you seeing him there.
Or she could even say it to
him herself in front of his wife:
“Hey, Mum and Dad said they
saw you on holiday!” Let him
explain and then his wife can
join the dots (or not). So many
options, so much sweating for
him yet to do. Your daughter will
know her friend well and know
how to play it, I’m sure, but I feel
you’d probably like to tell your
daughter. I think I would too.New Zealand Woman’s Weekly 61
I
’m writing this week’s column in the Italian sunshine,
which I’m soaking up before we’re due to head home
to daily life – sadly, it’s not far away now! There’s
something very therapeutic about absorbing a bit of
sunshine in a foreign country. We’ve spent time up north
in Milan and Florence, loafed around a Tuscan villa with
some English mates for a week, and then headed way
down to the bottom of the Italian boot to explore Puglia.
I love Italy – the people, the food and wine ($3.30 for
2.5 very drinkable litres in a fill-your-own flagon at the
supermarket is very helpful!), the historic places, and
the arts and culture. Plus, there’s the crazy traffic in the
cities to contend with, and the bumpy, old country roads
made for single-lane traffic. At least the GPS saves too
many arguments! Ciao for now.Arrivederci, Italy!
A BITTERSWEET END
TO A PRIMO HOLIDAYJude Dobson
ADVICETravellight!
Getting away from
it all can be a great
way to take a break
from the dramas and
dilemmas of life – but
what do you do when
they follow you on holiday?heyJUDE...
Doyouhaveaproblemyou’dlikeJudetoweighinon?Send your questionstonzww@bauermedia.co.nz with ‘Hey Jude’
in the subject line, or to Hey
Jude, NZWW, Bauer Media,
Private Bag 92512, Wellesley
Street, Auckland
1141.ASK JUDE!
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