Woman’s Day New Zealand – August 05, 2019

Advice

LET’S TALK

ABOUT SEX

Jodie Molloyanswe rs y o u r mo st intimate qu e stio ns

PICTURES: GETTY IMAGES.

Q

My husband is flirting

and enamoured with a

woman at work. I’ve got no

idea what to do. Do I raise it

or ignore it?

●Hoping, Wellsford

A

Each person has a

different definition of

flirting and the answer to

this depends on you being

very honest with yourself.

Whatever he’s up to, it’s

upsetting and unnerving

you. It can never hurt to

communicate appropriately,

irrespective of what or how

the other party will respond.

Don’t negotiate away your

own truth! Carrying around

this kind of thinking is a

waste of your energy, and

compromises your right to

feel comfortable and equal

in your relationship. Bringing

this up does not have to be an

accusation or a fight. I think

you should ask him about this

with a calm, focused objective

• to find out if this is a reality
  or a perception. And if nothing
  else, you need to let him know
  that you are aware, conscious
  and not feeling happy about
  his behaviour. Don’t put off
  the conversation because you
  are scared of the answer.

Q

My boyfriend has a

major birthday coming

up and I really want to do

something fun. I don’t go in

for the whole sex toys thing.

We watch Shortland Street,

are in bed by 9pm most

nights and have three kids

under 10. What’s a girl to do?

●Busy Mum, Glenfield

A

I have the perfect gift if

you don’t mind a cliche

or two. It doesn’t involve

anything too out there and

is inspired by your favourite

show. Never underestimate

Getadventurousandexpandyoursexual

worldwithPeachesandCream,whichhas

thelargestselectionoferoticplaythingsand

sextoysinNewZealand.Tohelpyoustock

up,wehave$200w

Creamvo

womansd

enterthe

canbered

peachesa

usedforal

thoseinth

STOCKUPYOURADULTTOYBOX!

pyoustock

$2 00 w ofPeachesand

oucherstogiveaway.Toenter,visit

day.co.nz/peachesandcreamand

codePC32byAugust9. Vouchers

deemedinstoreoronlineat

cream.co.nzandcanbe

lsaleitemsexcept

eHotSale.

his friends have watched

internet porn and it’s normal

and I’m old-fashioned! I’m

so disappointed and feel this

is wrong, but he’s adamant

I’m embarrassing myself

and everybody does this. I

am too ashamed to mention

this to my friends!

●Mortified, Titirangi

A

Welcome to the border

town of www – where

parents are on one side and

randy teens on the other. It’s

entirely fine and quite logical

for you to feel that this is not

appropriate. It feels like an

abstraction to those of us who

didn’t grow up with sex on the

net. I think, however, that the

idea that teens are not using,

viewing or finding places to

explore puberty with this as

a tool is unrealistic. Even if

you have parental filters on

and ban it in your house, the

chances are it’s not something

you can police due to his age.

The only power you have is

honesty to discuss with him

the concepts of consciousness,

contextandconsent.The

burdenofsexcommunication

forparentsthesedaysis huge.

Gonearethedayswhenyou

couldjustthrowaWhereDid

I ComeFrom?bookatyour

children.Youneedtohavea

frankconversationaboutthe

ideathatpornis a business,

it’sa show,it’snotrealand

maybegrosslyatoddswith

yourbeliefsystems.Explain

whyyouobjecttoit,instead

ofjustsayingthatit’swrong.

Questions

for Jodie

Write to

wday [email protected]

o r Wo man’s Day, Private Bag 92512,

Wellesley Street,Auckland.

the power of a simple visual

trigger – you could dress up

in a shorty, naughty nurse’s

outfit and give your hubby

a birthday examination!

Q

My 17-year-old teenage

son is an active, normal

kid and I’m sure I’ve raised

him well with good morals.

He’s now telling me he and

Woman’s Day 67