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Our journals give us space to be as messy and screwed up
as we need to be, says Susannah Conway.THE TRUSTED CONFIDANTE
On an ordinary day sometime in 1984 an 11-year-old girl
opened her prized Brambly Hedge notebook and began
writing. She wrote about how her pet guinea pig had stopped
eating and that they didn’t know what to do. “We’ll have to
hope for the best,” she wrote, ominously. The next day she
returned to the page, only this time her entry comprised just
a single sentence: “He died in the night.”
The little girl was me and for the last 35 years I’ve
continued to record my thoughts and feelings in notebooks.
Without anyone showing me how, my younger self understood
that writing stuff down was a good way to feel better about
confusing things. My entire teenage years are documented
on A4 paper. On the days when no-one else would listen, the
comfort of my notebook was always there.
Keeping a journal has changed my life. Everything I’ve
created started out as words written in my notebook – my
books, my business, my dreams for the future. I view my
journal as a trusted confidante and most often turn to it when
I’m stressed, upset or need to figure something out.
There’s absolutely no right or wrong way to journal. Some
people like to write a few lines every morning with their coffee.
Others like to meditate before they write. Some people enjoy
sticking photos into their notebook and record the phases of
the moon. Others outline their to-do lists.
I always date my entries and use the same type of pen
(a Parker Jotter) with my Moleskine notebook. I’ve been using
Moleskines for the last 16 years and while they aren’t the
cheapest on the market there’s something about the uniformity
of a pile of black Moleskines that makes me happy. I feel no
qualms about writing in them as I know I can always buy
another. They are simply the container for my thoughts.
Some people enjoy picking different notebooks – author
Natalie Goldberg uses notebooks she finds in the grocery
store. The key to creating a regular journaling practice istaking the preciousness out of the journal itself. The less
intimidating the journal, the more likely you are to write in it!
Once you’ve selected a notebook the next question is: what
should I write about? My preferred journaling style is stream
of conscious. Try setting a timer for 15 minutes and answering
the question: How do I feel today? If you don’t know what to
write, write that you don’t know, until something surfaces.
Writing in such a loose way helps to bypass the internal censor,
that critical voice that makes you feel self-conscious.
Freewriting is similar but starts with a theme or topic. You
could freewrite about an emotion – sadness, love, frustration.
You could freewrite about something in your life – should I
quit my job, my sister’s wedding, that conversation with Dad.
As you begin writing other thoughts and associations will f loat
to the surface. Get them down on paper. Keep writing until
you dry up, or write for an amount of time – either works well.
Writing unsent letters is the cornerstone of many
therapeutic practices. You may want to write to your journal
or a person – Anne Frank wrote to an imaginary friend
called Kitty in her diary. You could write letters to loved
ones who are no longer here, to people who’ve hurt you, to
people who’ve inspired you. You could write letters to your
self. You could write letters to parts of your self – Dear ankle.
Dear heart. You could write letters to your feelings – Dear
fear. Dear hunger. You could write letters to your future self.
Your future partner. Your future child. Letters give you a
structured way to write what’s on your mind.
We experience the benefits of journaling twice: first when
we write the entry, and again when we read it back. My
journals have provided me with insight into how I’ve grown
and changed over the years. Journals are the treasure maps
of our lives. They are our faithful companions, our confessors
and our locked vault. They never judge or belittle. They are
a sanctuary in our busy, thrilling and oh-so human world.FURTHER READING
From left: The New
Diary by Tristine Rainer,
Journal to the Self by
Kathleen Adams,
The Way In by Rita
D Jacobs, Journalution
by Sandy Grason