her to the pub in her wheelchair and
we would try to get free drinks at the
bar, which I would then help her drink
through a straw. Over time I could
understand what she was saying and
she didn’t need to repeat herself
constantly. I would change her
catheter bag while we talked about
who was on Top of the Pops. Then,
after four months, just before I said
my farewells and went to start medical
school, Amanda caught pneumonia
and died.While many of my friends were
exploring other countries,
attempting to discover themselves,
I felt enriched and humbled by the
short time I had spent with Amanda.
I often think about Amanda when
I hear about youngsters going on gap
years to exotic climes or travelling tofar flung countries to “help” people.
Few teenagers have the skills that are
really needed in these countries, and
yet there are countless ways in which
they can have adventure and make
lasting contributions to people’s lives
here. It’s far easier to take from people
who have nothing, than it is to give
them anything meaningful. Are people
on gap years not just holidaying in
other people’s misery, safe in the
knowledge that they themselves will
never experience the horrors that they
witness? Certainly people can gain a
lot from gap years abroad, and I know
that they’re often done with the best
intentions. But it’s good to remember
that you don’t have to go halfway
round the world to discover yourself:
the greatest learning experience of
your life can be just a few doors down
the road. nJULY 2019 • 53ILLUSTRATION BY FRANCES MURPHY