THE GODFATHER CHOSEN BY RICKY GERVAIS
INT. CORLEONE FAMILY COMPOUND — DAY
Following another attempt on Vito Corleone’s life,
the Corleone family have gathered. Tom Hagen
(Robert Duvall) and Sonny Corleone (James Caan)
are having an argument, while Michael Corleone
(Al Pacino), Clemenza (Richard Castellano) and
Tessio (Abe Vigoda) look on.
TOM: I found out about this Captain McCluskey,
who broke Mike’s jaw.
SONNY: What about him?
TOM: Now he’s definitely on Sollozzo’s payroll,
and for big money. McCluskey has agreed to be
the Turk’s bodyguard. What you have to
understand, Sonny, is that while Sollozzo is being
guarded like this, he is invulnerable. Now nobody
has ever gunned down a New York police captain.
Never. It would be disastrous. All the Five Families
would come after you, Sonny. The Corleone
family would be outcast! Even the old man’s
political protection would run for cover! Now do
me a favour. Take this into consideration.SONNY: Alright. We wait.MICHAEL: We can’t wait.TOM: Huh?MICHAEL: We can’t wait. I don’t care what
Sollozzo says about a deal, he’s going to kill Pop.
That’s it. That’s the key for him. Gotta get Sollozzo.TOM: Mikey’s right.SONNY: Well, let me ask you something,
professor. What about this McCluskey? Huh?
What do we do with this cop here?MICHAEL: They want to have a meeting with me,
right? It will be me, McCluskey, and Sollozzo. Let’s set
the meeting. Get our informants to find out where it’s
going to be held. And we insist it’s a public place. A
bar, a restaurant, some place where there’s people,
so I feel safe. They’re going to search me when I first
meet them, right? I can’t have a weapon on me then.
But if Clemenza can figure a way to have a weapon
planted there for me, then I’ll kill ’em both.Clemenza starts laughing. Sonny and Tessio join in.SONNY: Hey, whaddya gonna do? Nice college boy,
eh? Didn’t wanna get mixed up in the family
business, now you wanna gun down a police
captain. Why, because he slapped you in the face
a little bit, hah? What do you think, this is the
Army where you shoot them a mile away? You
gotta get up close like this and bada bing, you
blow their brains all over your nice Ivy League suit.MICHAEL: Sonny...SONNY: C’mere! You’re taking this very personal.
Tom, this is business, and this man is taking it
very, very personal.MICHAEL: Where does it say that you can’t
kill a cop?TOM: Come on, Mikey—MICHAEL: Tom, wait a minute. I’m talking about a
cop that’s mixed up in drugs, I’m talking about a, a
dishonest cop, a crooked cop who got mixed up in
the rackets and got what was coming to him. That’s a
terrific story. We have newspaper people on the
payroll, don’t we, Tom? They might like a story like that.TOM: They might. They just might.MICHAEL: It’s not personal, Sonny. It’s
strictly business.RICKY GERVAIS: “That scene in The Godfather,
when Michael Corleone says, ‘Who says we
can’t kill a cop?’ It’s the twist that he was the
civilian, he was the good boy of the family but
he has to save the family now. That gave me
an adrenaline rush the first time I saw it.”