2019-03-01 World Soccer

1

MOURINHO TAKES A TUMBLE

Former Manchester United manager

Jose Mourinho got more than he

bargained for when he was asked to

make the ceremonial puck drop at a

Kontinental Hockey League ice hockey

game between Avangard Omsk and SKA

Saint Petersburg in Russia.

After dropping the puck, Mourinho

tried to retreat back to his seat but

tripped up on the red carpet and took

a tumble, much to the delight of the

packed arena.

He was helped back to his feet by

SKA captain Pavel Datsyuk.

2

TONGAN FAMILY SUCCESS

Father and son Pua and

Tuia Falepapalangi

scored four goals between

them for Tongan club

Lotoha’apai United in their

OFC Champions League

encounter against American

Samoa’s Pago Youth. Tonga

under-20 international Tuia

scored a hat-trick, with dad

Pua netting the other.

3

PROTEST OVER RACIST REF

Italian non-league side Serino

walked off during a game after

their Senegalese goalkeeper was racially

abused – by the referee.

Gueye Ass Dia and his team-mates

made their protest after the official

allegedly made a derogatory remark

during a fixture against Real Sarno.

4

A MONTH A LONG TIME

IN FOOTBALL

South African PSL club Maritzburg

United sacked coach Muhsin Ertugral

after a month in charge. Appointed on

December 28 he was fired on January 28.

“It was a disastrous month,” said

chairman Farook Kadodia. “The job

was disastrous. In his interests and our

interests, we need to part ways.”

5

SORRY, SIR

On picking up his second yellow

card against Crystal Palace,

Liverpool’s James Milner was sent off by

referee Jon Moss – who used to be the

33-year-old’s PE teacher at Westbrook

Lane Primary School in Leeds.

REPORTS WE COULDN’T MAKE UP

categories are many: forward, sideways,
back, cross-field, penetrating, in the
opposing penalty area, through balls,
long balls, short balls, ground balls, aerial
balls, back heels, left foot, right foot. And,
simply, time-wasting.
The stats I’ve been hardest on have
been the game stats, essentially those
on the Premier League website. But dig
into that same website and you will find
a lot of interesting stats. You’ll learn that
Chelsea’s Marcos Alonso has hit the
woodwork six times and that team-mate
David Luiz has hit 35 through balls, twice
as many as anyone else. And you will also
find the “goalkeeper saves” category that
is missing from the game stats.
These are player stats and they bring
life to the numbers. It would be pleasing
to think that they could be added to
those arid, no-frills game summaries
without making them too detailed.
The problem for the stat fans is soccer

is an activity that bristles with small but
vital individual details - touches, fakes,
sudden moves, flashes of brilliance - that
are always going to make life difficult for
those who want to break it down into a
list of definable and reliable categories.
And laughing from on high at this
impertinent attempt to impose order
on reality is the great anti-stat: luck.
I suppose it may be possible to
measure luck. To create a “fortune” stat,
a zero-to-10 scale that would include
things like near misses and miskicks,
even the impact of referee decisions.
But it would be a unique stat. It would
measure an important factor in all games,
yet unlike most of the other stats it could
never pose as a key to understanding -
or coaching - the game. After all, you
don’t “correct” luck.
It would be there – it is there – as
a permanent mocking reminder that
soccer is a joyous human activity, not
a dry mathematical one.

Going down...

Jose Mourinho

Short reign...

Muhsin Ertugral

Must do better...

James Milner

If we must have

soccer stats at

least let them be

intelligent ones

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