Heartfulness – July 2019

B

ecoming a grandmother revolutionized my existence.

It was a chance to be the loving parent I wish I had

been when my son was young. When my son was

little, I knew I wasn’t as mentally available for him as I

should have been. I lacked patience and was worried about

too many other things like money, constantly looking for

work – all the pressures of daily life. I was an anxious,

guilt-ridden young mother.

Coming to a spiritual path and slowly divesting myself of

my mental burdens made life become more and more

palatable. Gradually life seemed to be less of a battle. I

came to realize that I had made things unnecessarily

complicated for myself. I was on a slow but sure path

towards inner balance.

It took about 20 years of spiritual practice to completely

change my mental attitude and feel grateful for the joy

each day could bring.

So when Alice came along in 2012, I was given the

opportunity to be the best grandma I could. Even during

the first week of her existence I was the one who could

get her to sleep. She was one of those babies who would

fiercely fight to stay awake, so I would empty my mind

and walk and dance with her until she slid into sleep.

For Alice, I know my presence is totally reassuring. Even

when she was only one and her parents left her alone with

me for a couple of weeks, we had a great time. She did

not cry once.

Why are meditators reassuring? I think it is because they

have made peace with death. We can only reassure others

if we are at peace with ourselves and feel safe. And we

can only really feel safe if we are not afraid of leaving this

world at any moment. We also feel safe and confident

because we have taken responsibility for our lives and

TASTE OF LIFE

KATHLEEN SCARBORO tells her own personal story

about being the best grandma she can be.

July 2019 73