MONDAY, AUGUST 5, 2019 The Boston Globe C9
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38 WSBKBig Bang
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for a mermaid.TV-PG-DLSV
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bachelorlearnsto growup. PG-13
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MondayAugust5, 2019 Movies Sports News Specials Poweredby
1.We’re in peakrebootthese days, whichis
why“BH90210”is of interestto me. Rather
than simply giving “Beverly Hills 90210” anoth-
er go (that’s alreadybeendone,actually),this
new series takes a meta approach. Original cast
membersJason Priestley, Shannen Doherty,
JennieGarth, Ian Ziering, Gabrielle Carteris,
Brian Austin Green, and Tori Spelling play ver-
sions of themselves (think “Curb Your Enthusi-
asm”) dealing withlaunchinga reboot of the
1990s TV series. Amongother things, it will be
interesting to see how they deal with the ab-
sence of the late Luke Perry. “BH90210” pre-
mieres Wednesday at 9 p.m. on Fox.
2.It’s so much fun hating the Roy family.
They are the worst of the one percent, and their
worldis a virtue-free zone.The media-mogul
and his family have no redeemingqualities,ex-
cept that they are riveting and, at times, hilari-
ous. HBO’s“Succession”returnsfor a second
season on Sunday at 9 p.m., on the heelsof five
Emmy nominations, including one for best dra-
ma.
3.I get frustrated with Netflix’s“GLOW,”as
it tendsto stay on the surface of the lives of its
characters. Binge-ability is too high on its list of
priorities. But still, it is a lot of fun, and I never
miss an episode. About the creation of the Gor-
geous Ladies of Wrestling in the 1980s, the
showreturnsFriday for seasonthreewiththe
gangdoinga residency in Las Vegas. Geena Da-
vis guest stars.
4.Ha ha, CBS, yourstupid dumb“Love Is-
land”about running around in bathingsuits
and coupling up for love and money but mostly
money, has beena big old ratings loser. Whoops
— I let my child out for a moment. CBS’s sum-
mer experiment “Love Island,” which has aired
five nightsa week,didn’t quitecatch on, with
ratings that never exceeded the mid 2 millions.
It finishes up on Wednesday at 8 p.m.
5.Forget about “House,” featuringthe
cranky, obsessive doctor who’d do anything and
everything to diagnose cases. A new nonfiction
series called“Chasing the Cure”is going to try
to diagnoseand possiblyeven cure diseases
withthe helpof a panelof experts as well as
viewersat home. The crowdsourcingshow,
whichwill be hosted by Ann Curry, premieres
on Thursday at 9 p.m. on both TNT and TBS.
Q.All five of my now-adultchildrenwereadopt-
ed. The youngest two are bio-sisters and came to
us whenthey were4 and 5.
These sisters have always struggled,and we
werein and out of counseling as they grew up.
They have accused us of abuse(not true).
They bothhave substance abuseissues, and
have exhausted their brothers and sister, too,
with their lies and behavior.
Amy, they refuse to even talk to us. My heart
breaks for their hurt and I do not knowhow to
help.How can we mendthis torn family?
HURTINGMOM
A.You seemto have given your all to yourchil-
dren.I hopeyou have something left for yourself.
Ideally, adultchildrenmoreor less take up
where their parents left off and continue to raise
themselves as they mature, but aware and sensi-
tive families face a reckoningwhenthey realize
— surprise— thereis no suchthing as an ideal
family.
Accordingto information published by the
NationalInstitutes of Health,“Addictionsare
moderately to highly heritable.Family, adoption,
and twin studiesreveal that an individual’s risk
tends to be proportional to the degreeof genetic
relationship to an addicted relative.”
Your youngest daughters may have entered
the worldalreadymarked for the struggles with
addiction disordersthat they are facing now.
Unfortunately, you may not be able to mend
your torn family. Parenting at this point for your
challengingyounger daughtersmay meanestab-
lishingfirm boundaries and supporting recovery,
but not enabling addiction.You may have to
train yourselvesand your otherchildren to learn
how to lovingly detachfrom them. Therapy at
this pointshould focus on your own copingskills,
as well as exploring concepts suchas codepen-
dency.
Charles Rubin has written a tough, searing
bookbasedon his own experience beingthe par-
ent of addicted children: “Don’t Let Your Kids
Kill You: A Guide for Parentsof Drugand Alcohol
Addicted Children.” New Century Publishers
(2007).
WhenI interviewedMr. Rubin abouthis
book, he told me that his own experienceled
him, finally, to focus not on his failed, futile, and
frustrating efforts to save his adultchildrenfrom
their addictions but on saving himself.
It might be time for you to surrender to your
own powerlessnessover your daughters’addic-
tion,and make a choice to focus on yourown
healthand recovery.
Sometimes, pulling back or detaching can dis-
rupt the dynamicenough to nudge troubledpeo-
ple towardtaking responsibility for their own re-
covery. Othertimes, detaching will have no effect
on the familymembers you are trying to help,
butitwillhelpyou. Andyouandyourotherchil-
drenlivinggood and healthy lives is better than
everyonegoing downwith the ship.
Q.We recentlyput our homefor sale.Our next-
door neighbors are nice.We say hello that’s about
it. The problem is that their property is unkempt.
A pool in theiryardcollapsed yearsago, and
it’s still laying in the yard, along with the broken
and rotted decking that was around it.
The trim is coming off in somespotsand
missingin others.
Several potentialbuyershave asked if the
house was abandoned, or if anyone lives there.
We’ve been asked, “What’s the story over there?”
I don’t believe my neighbors are breakingany
laws.
I don’t wantto create hardfeelings.
Can I say something, or shouldI just keep my
mouth shut?
HOMEOWNER
A.If I gave you permission to say something to
theseneighbors,what wouldit be? “Hello, nice
people. Please, cleanup yourproperty, so I can
sell mine and get you some new neighbors?”
No, if these people won’t cleanup theirprop-
erty for theirown sakes, they’re not going to
clean it up for you. If they aren’t violating any lo-
cal statutes,then it is what it is.
You could communicate this to prospective
buyers: “In our time living here, we haven’t really
gotten to knowthe neighbors very well, but they
seemvery nice. We’ve never had any problems of
any kind with them.”
Q.“Empathetic from Afar” felt burdened by a
friend’s requests for support through social me-
dia.
I appreciated your suggestion that support
doesn’t always need to be financial. Maintaining
contact and a connection is helpful, too.
ALSOEMPATHETIC
A.The current health care cost crisis has led peo-
ple to crowdsource support for theirexpenses.
But support takes many forms.
AmyDickinson canbe reachedat
[email protected].
ASK AMY
Overwhelmed parent wants
to mend broken family
BRIAN BOWENSMITH/FOX
Original“BeverlyHills 90210”cast members(fromleft) GabrielleCarteris,Tori
Spelling, BrianAustin Green,Jason Priestley, ShannenDoherty, JennieGarth, and Ian
Zieringreturnfor Fox’s “BH90210”on Wednesday night.
TVCRITIC’S CORNER
BYMATTHEWGILBERT
What’s comingup that’s worth checkingout