74 27 Dec2019-7Jan 2020 Do you agree? Let us [email protected]
Howisthisevenpossibleonthecusp
of 202 0?I’mtalkingtotheAAona
smartphonefittedwithGPSradiosthat
aresoaccuratetheycantellwhatlane
I’minonamotorway,andyetthepolice
andtheAA’sownrescuevehiclespent
morethanan
houronawild
goosechase
arounddark
Sussexroads
becausethe
callcentreis
stillrelyingon
misheard
instructions.
Now,tobefairerthantheAAhasany
righttoexpect,thecompanydoeshave
asmartphoneappthatyoucantapto
reportanaccident,whichsendsyour
preciselocationtothehelpcentre.
However,mymembershipcomesviamyBarry Collins despairs as the emergency
services struggle to find him
Page 404
bank,whichrequires youtocalla
hotlinetoreportincidents.
Evenso,thereare brilliant apps that
couldhavesavedme, theSussex
constabulary andthebusybreakdown
firmalot oftime.Take themagnificent
What3words, for
example,anappthat
Iactually do have
installedonmyphone
afterwritingaboutthe
firm last year.
What3wordshas
brokentheentire
globe downinto 3x3m
squares. Eachsquare is
givenauniquethree-word identifier so,
if youget lost, youjustask theappto
pinpointyourcurrent location usingthe
smartphone’sGPSandit provides a
thr ee-wordphrasetogivetothe
emergencyservices.Theythentype
that samephraseintotheWhat3words
website(what3words.com)andknow
exactlywhere youare within seconds.
ThebeautyofWhat3wordsisit’sideal
foranylocationthat’s toughto describe.
Whetherit’s ahouse downacountry
lanewherepostcodescoverseveral
square miles,themiddle of acountry
park withnodiscernible landmarksor
right next to THEBIGGESTFRIGGING
LANDMARKINTHEENTIRECOUNTY
(deepbreaths, Baz),theappcandirect
someonesoclose that they’llbe
invadingyour personalspace.
Alas,theAAman hadneverheard of
What3words. WhenItoldhimIhad
brokendownat “remedyalbatross
digestion”,hewasn’tsurewhether to
call anambulanceortoget thepoliceto
breathalyseme.
SoI’ve gotanother threewordsfor
theso-calledFourthEmergency
Service:sort it out. Andthreeforyou:
HappyNewYear!I’m talking tothe AAon
asmartphonefitted with GPS
radios that aresoaccurate
they can tellwhat laneI’min
on amotorwayI
gothomeat2amlastnight. No,
Ididn’t leave anightclub with a
couple of luckyfoxes, Ileftthe A 27
with one particularly unluckyfox
embedded inmycarradiator. In case
you’rewondering whatcookedfoxsmells
like,it’snothinglikechicken.
Ihit thepoor beastrightbyBrighton
&HoveAlbion’s stadiuminFalmer.If
you’re hopingfor convenient landmarks
to breakdownnextto, amassive
footballstadiumthat canprobablybe
spottedfromspace isn’tabadone.
Andyet,despite tellingthebloke in
theAAcallcentre that I’mbrokendown
onthesliproadrightnext to Brighton’s
stadium,they dispatchedthepolice–
whohadto attend becauseIwas in a
live trafficlane–andtheirownrecovery
vehicletoDevil’s Dyke,someeightmiles
away.Imean, youcanprobably seethe
stadiumfromthere.Illu
st
rat
io
n:
An
dr
ew
To
rr
ens
Abreakdown in
communications