FATHER - I GOT IT

We had no A/C in our apartment, no credit cards, no cable bills, no cell phone bills. We never ate
out. None of the stuff we spend money on today. Thank God. Five daughters with cell
phones...imagine that. I haven't seen that 9-person family plan yet, even in this era.

My dad was proud of his work ethic and proud of the people he worked for and work with. My
Father's virtues denitely made an impact continues to be very strong for me.

Look, I know mothers get all the press and mine did her thing. My mother even worked as an Avon
Lady. I would attend her appointments with her. I think she used me as a prop. She was a truly
remarkable human being. She would live to be 98, 2 years short of her goal. Always a Mother!

My mother was spectacular in her maternal responsibilities. One day I may put her impact on me
on paper. However, my focus is on my daddy right now.

Why?

My father, like so many black fathers, could use some positive, fair print these days. In my early

childhood/teen era(The Fifties-Sixties), This memoir is not in defense of any improprieties dads

might have done. Certainly any malicious wrong-doings. Nobody perfect

I believe fathers were a bit different as a whole. As my father's father had to deal with. I know I’m

not alone in that opinion.

Today with widespread divorce rates, every dad is an increasingly challenging situation waiting to

happen. I know a lot of one parent situations make it work. I know in today's 'Me' 1st environment,

there is a lot of selshness going on.

I'm aware that there are many parents who endured, children rst, that's not the norm anymore.

Too much social media, self-centered "It's All About Me! I get it...Just My Thought.,.

The era (pre-1940's) our black fathers grew up in was very different. There was no discussion on
who was the patriarch of the family, who was the main bread-winner. Who dished out discipline.

Ours was a 1-one paycheck family. Our Mom nurtured her children, kept our home clean and
labored over the stove daily. She loved being a mother. My father knew how to cook. He only
cooked if our mother rarely fell ill. I know he learned a thing or two from my mother. We all did.

It was simply a part of our equation...the natural order of things back then.

The impact of all of these family pressures was indeed stressful for black fathers. I'm speaking of
Jim Crow, the attitudes, bias restrictions, and other racial pressures they had to deal with every
single day of their lives. Because of his relationship with his boss, I don't think my dad had the
entirety of those pressures at work. I never heard any. There were only 2 black men of 50-
employees working there. The other black guy working there was actually our neighbor who lived
directly across the street from us in our newly purchased home. Ironically, they never car-pooled.

I'm positive my father's counter-parts would not have made it if the shoes were reversed.

Yes, I know these things still persist...Not eliminated, just a tad bit different.

Yes, I know women dealt with more (sexism, abuse). Again, a different oratory.

Okay, back on track...

While this book is about my father's early inuence on me. These words are my story.