After the wedding, with my chest stuck out, I proudly proclaimed to my dad, "I’m going to college"
(having already secured several football scholarship options, I felt empowered).
While he wasn’t fond of my nal college option, (Probably too close to home at 250 miles away.)
The other options were out of state. I chose the in-state option anyway. Final decision! He
approved later.^My daddy was the essential strong and silent type. He didn't take anything from anyone...Anyone!An Alpha male, Strong in his convictions. He always voted. He was never a penal system casualty,
He had a very Powerful Voice and he loved the 'Language of Vulgarity' (Cussin').I witness my father wearing a frozen smile at his mother's funeral. I could not come to grips that my
father showed absolutely no sad emotion that day.I did not understand his feelings until I had to come to grips when he passed.My older brother number (2) and I sobbed like toddlers at my father's step-mother's funeral. I had
only seen my grandmother twice in my life. But It didn't matter that day...I reacted mostly from my brother's emotional reaction. But, it was a solemn day. I never seen my
brother show that type of emotion, but he had a relationship with our grandmother. I did not. I had
only seen her twice, but my emotions ran just as intense as his.Eight years later, I would wear a frozen smile throughout his funeral services. For some reason, I
thought that was the benchmark based on my dad's reaction to his mother's funeral.It really did hurt that day. Man, it really hurt to smile through that solemn morning.I held steadfast the day of my daddy's funeral and was commended by my friends and family for
such, however, the very next day after the services, I could not hold back the tears.
It happened during a family heated post-funeral episode. A discussion was brought up concerning
my mother's burial plot being next to my fathers' plot. Very inappropriate at the time. Hell, she
outlived most of who was there, including the person who initiated the conversation.
Just maybe it was a similar experience with my dad's mother. I'll never know. I never asked.