46 new york | december 23, 2019–january 5, 2020
“We have really liked
Charlie and Lola.
The main girl is really
adventurous and smart,
and the writing is really
good. The language
is quirky and funny.”
JULIE ORRINGER“The things being made
now, at least the ones we
watch, are so focused on
kindness and friendship,
and they’re really
wonderful, like Simon or
Cupcake & Dino.”
EMMA STRAUB“I’m a PJ Masks fan. It’s three
kids who become superheroes
when they put on their pajamas
at night. In later seasons,
the bad guys become friends with
one another and it’s this whole
nuanced ecosystem of villains.”
BRIAN PLATZER... And Ten More
Suggestions
SEX COACH SAYS
Novelists Say
TV
Writers
Say
PARENTS OF GENDER-
NONCOMFORMING
KIDS SAY“Our 6-year-old is
really into YouTube.
We deconstruct what’s
really going on—how
these kids have millions
of viewers, are
millionaires, and are
wasting time of the lives
of viewers. The
conversation is key to
balancing the images.”
AMY LEVINE“I’d rather show them
something a little over their
heads than really empty or
badly written. My 3- and
4-year-old currently watch
only Olaf ’s Frozen Adventure
on Disney+. As long as we’re
not watching Paw Patrol.”
WENDY MOLYNEUX“Steven Universe
has been awesome
in terms of
representing
gender fluidity.”
SARA KAPLAN“We love The Simpsons,
Bob’s Burgers (I don’t
force that one, I swear),
Clarence. She also
watches things I know
nothing about. I like to
give her the opportunity
to develop her own taste.”
LIZZIE MOLYNEUX“He’s in love
with Queer Eye.
When Jonathan Van
Ness came out as
nonbinary, it was just
awesome for him.”
VANESSA M.“I’m so grateful to people willing
to document their own transitions
on YouTube, including
Skylar Kergil and Jazz Jennings.”
JANNA BARKIN“One of my child’s favorite shows is Molly of Denali
on PBS. We’re a family of color. So my daughter
sees her on the screen and sees someone who has
brown skin, black hair, who looks like her.”
MARYANN J.... And Interview
the Comic
John Mulaney & the Sack Lunch Bunch
(Netflix, premiering December 24)
is a riff on vintage kids’ TV, starring a mix of
precocious kids and Broadway and
Hollywood stars. Alexander interviewed
Mulaney one day after school.ALEX BONANOS: Yo u
know how one of the
segments is Mr.
Music with Jake
Gyllenhaal? Did you
also think that his
performance was the
most amazingly over-
the-top thing?
JOHN MULANEY:
[Laughs] He was my
No. 1 wish, becausewe thought Mr. Music
has to be a bit of a
lunatic, so we needed
someone who would
own that enthusiasm.
There’s a moment
near the end when
he’s staring off and
I say, “Mr. Music?”
A.B.: That’s one of
my favorite lines.
“Is Mr. Music okay?”J.M.:
having
trouble.”
a tak
de
him
wondering about that.
J.M.:
mak
are
was
as
I don
continuityMr
mental
also
a child,
a pretty
B-plot.
J.M.:
not
I donMy fifth-grader, Alexander, has become
a huge comedy fan in the past two years.
I was the same at his age, and my parents
were concerned about my consumption of
sex jokes and curse words. (Richard Pryor
was off limits, I recall.) To my wife and me,
raising a New York kid who hears a lot
of shit-talk, those are less of a concern than
sexist attitudes, don’t-drop-the-soap
jokes, and generally systemic boorishness.
His favorite stand-up is John Mulaney,
the former Saturday Night Live writer
known for his Netflix special Kid Gorgeous at
Radio City and his Broadway–and–Comedy
Central collaboration with Nick Kroll,
Oh, Hello. Mulaney’s act is not 100 percent
kid-friendly—there’s the odd blow-job joke
and a few fucks—but it’s notably not toxic.
Alex has watched Kid Gorgeous 23 times
and will reproduce every line at the slightest
hint of interest. Because Mulaney’s comedy
is so masterly—it works at kid and adult
levels—we find ourselves invoking its
catchphrases daily. When Alex is feeling
down, or is a little distant or moody,
we watch it together, and it brings him back
into the sun. It’s our shared campfire
folktale, one with sweaty-butt jokes.The Case for Le
10-Year-Old Wa
Raunchy Comed
By Christopher Bonanos
*Who are also
sisters and co-producers
of Bob’s Burgers.TRANSMITTED TRANSMITTED
____ COPY DD AD PD EIC
2619FEA_KidsTV_lay [Print]_36339551.indd 46 12/17/19 10:19 PM
The Jungle Book
(1967) King Louie
the orangutan and
his primate pals
speak in heavily
coded jive talk
that was stripped
from the remake.
Dumbo (1941) A
murder of crows
sing, “When I See
an Elephant Fly,”
led by the bird
“Jim Crow,” who
is named for the
southern laws
that enforced
racial segregation.
The Aristocats
(1970) The Asian-
coded cat has
buckteeth, plays
the piano with
chopsticks, and
sings, “Fortune
cookie always
wrong.”
Aladdin (1992)
The opening verse
(cut from the
recent live-action
remake) to
“Arabian Nights”
describes theregion as
a place “Where
it’s flat and
immense / And the
heat is intense / It’s
barbaric, but
hey, it’s home.”
Peter Pan (1953) A
tribe of Neverland
Native Americans
call themselves
“Injuns,” pass
around a smoking
pipe with the
kids, and sing
“What Made the
Red Man Red?”Lady and the
Tramp (1955)
Remember the
villainous
Siamese cats, Si
and Am? Their
musical number
was performed by
Peggy Lee in an
“Asian accent.”
Pocahontas (1995)
“Kill them /
What are we
waiting for?
Destroy their evil
race / Until there’s
not a trace left.”And Finally,
a Few Thoughts
on What to Skip
WHAT ONE SCIENTIST SAYS: “I research practically everything. However,(^) when
(^) it
(^) comes
(^) to
(^) setting
(^) the
(^) standards
(^) of
(^) what
(^) my
(^) children
(^) can
(^) watch
(^) and
(^) how
(^) much
(^) of
(^) it,
(^) I
just
(^) follow
(^) my
(^) gut
.”
—J
AIME
(^) N
OGUEZ
Interview
tarring a mix of
Music
needed
would
enthusiasm.
of
okay?”
J.M.: “No, he’s
having a lot of
trouble.” Also we did
a take where Camille
de la Cruz calls
him Dad.
A.B.: I was
wondering about that.
J.M.: Some jokes
make no sense and
are just so stupid. He
was revealed, I guess,
as Camille’s dad?
I don’t stand by the
continuity of it.
A.B.: But with
Mr. Music’s current
mental condition and
also him having
a child, that sets up
a pretty interesting
B-plot.
J.M.: They might
not live together.
I don’t know?
A.B.: Maybe he’s a
deadbeat? Afterward,
I researched whether
Jake Gyllenhaal
has a child.
J.M.: Oh, I like
that—that’s good.
A.B.: [Looks at list
of questions] This is
about Richard Kind.
J.M.: What a
serious tone you took
on! Like “Now, we
really have to talk
about your divorce.”
A.B.: Do you know
if he got along with
the girls in the
“Girl Talk” segment?
J.M.: Yes. I can’t
tell you how much
[good stuff] we had
to cut out.
A.B.: Did anything
go wrong on set?
What was the worst
part?
J.M.: Time.
A.B.: [Quoting a line
from Mulaney’s
stand-up] “Strange,
the passage of time.”
J.M.: Very strange!
That was nine and
a half, ten shooting
days. We were using
every second, and
there was a lot more
I wanted to do—but,
yeah, we’d just hit
these child-labor
laws. And I’m all for
the laws.
A.B.: In the show,
you asked other
people how they
want to die. How
do you want to die?
J.M.: You know ...
there was a time
when I would have
answered,
“Assassination,” but
I really like what
I do, so I do hope to
go very old. Also,
stand-up comedians
can keep performing
into their 80s and
90s, so I hope I get
the chance to do
that.
A.B.: I also hope
you get to do that.
J.M.: I think my
persona will make
a lot more sense
when I’m 80.
A.B.: And by then,
those jokes about not
having any children
will be rendered
useless—you might
have kids then, might
not, probably not.
J.M.: That’s very
funny. You and my
mom want to know
about that.
were concerned about my consumption of
o my wife and me,
of shit-talk, those are less of a concern than
at
e
and will reproduce every line at the slightest
hint of interest. Because Mulaney’s comedy
, and it brings him back^
for Letting My
Old Watch Slightly
Comedy ...
Some classics now
available on Disney+ feature
pretty racist stereotypes.
Additional reporting by Rebecca Alter, Carla Bruce-Eddings,
Brock Colyar, Madison Malone Kircher, and Savannah Smith.
Not only does it disdain
anything remotely
edifying, it is physically
unpleasant to take
in. Each rescue effort
is announced with flashing lights.
And, a screaming chorus of sirens and
revving engines and more flashing
lights—and its one girl dog is a
cockapoo: a tiny, fluffy, self-deprecating,
emotionally demonstrative member
of a toy breed, who is consistently
praised for her graciousness and
ex cellent memorization skills. This
show is utter filth. My children love it.
BRIAN PLATZER
Avoid Paw Patrol
at All Costs
TRANSMITTED
Y DD AD PD EIC ____ COPY DD AD PD EIC
2619FEA_KidsTV_lay [Print]_36339551.indd 47 12/17/19 10:19 PM
TheJungleBook
(1967)KingLouie
theorangutanand
hisprimatepals
speakin heavily
codedjivetalk
thatwasstripped
fromtheremake.
Dumbo(1941)A
murderof crows
sing,“WhenI See
anElephantFly,”
ledbythebird
“JimCrow,” who
is namedforthe
southernlaws
thatenforced
racialsegregation.
TheAristocats
(1970)TheAsian-
codedcathas
buckteeth,plays
thepianowith
chopsticks,and
sings,“Fortune
cookiealways
wrong.”
Aladdin(1992)
Theopeningverse
(cutfromthe
recentlive-action
remake)to
“ArabianNights”
describesthe
regionas
a place“Where
it’sflatand
immense/Andthe
heatis intense/ It’s
barbaric,but
hey,it’shome.”
PeterPan(1953)A
tribeof Neverland
NativeAmericans
callthemselves
“Injuns,”pass
arounda smoking
pipewiththe
kids,andsing
“WhatMadethe
RedManRed?”
Ladyandthe
Tramp(1955)
Rememberthe
villainous
Siamesecats,Si
andAm?Their
musicalnumber
wasperformedby
PeggyLeeinan
“Asianaccent.”
Pocahontas(1995)
“Killthem/
Whatarewe
waitingfor?
Destroytheirevil
race/Untilthere’s
nota traceleft.”
And Finally,
a Few Thoughts
on What toSkip
WHAT ONE SCIENTIST SAYS: “I research practically everything. However,
when
it
comes
to
setting
the
standards
of
what
my
children
can
watch
and
how
much
of
it,
Ijust
follow
my
gut
.”
—J
AIME
NOGUEZ
J.M.: “No, he’s
having a lot of
trouble.” Also we did
a take where Camille
de la Cruz calls
him Dad.
A.B.: I was
wondering about that.
J.M.: Some jokes
make no sense and
are just so stupid. He
was revealed, I guess,
as Camille’s dad?
I don’t stand by the
continuity of it.
A.B.: But with
Mr. Music’s current
mental condition and
also him having
a child, that sets up
a pretty interesting
B-plot.
J.M.: They might
not live together.
I don’t know?
A.B.: Maybe he’s a
deadbeat? Afterward,
I researched whether
Jake Gyllenhaal
has a child.
J.M.: Oh, I like
that—that’s good.
A.B.: [Looks at list
of questions] This is
about Richard Kind.
J.M.: What a
serious tone you took
on! Like “Now, we
really have to talk
about your divorce.”
A.B.: Do you know
if he got along with
the girls in the
“Girl Talk” segment?
J.M.: Yes. I can’t
tell you how much
[good stuff] we had
to cut out.
A.B.: Did anything
go wrong on set?
What was the worst
part?
J.M.: Time.
A.B.: [Quoting a line
from Mulaney’s
stand-up] “Strange,
the passage of time.”
J.M.: Very strange!
That was nine and
a half, ten shooting
days. We were using
every second, and
there was a lot more
I wanted to do—but,
yeah, we’d just hit
these child-labor
laws. And I’m all for
the laws.
A.B.: In the show,
you asked other
people how they
want to die. How
do you want to die?
J.M.: You know ...
there was a time
when I would have
answered,
“Assassination,” but
I really like what
I do, so I do hope to
go very old. Also,
stand-up comedians
can keep performing
into their 80s and
90s, so I hope I get
the chance to do
that.
A.B.: I also hope
you get to do that.
J.M.: I think my
persona will make
a lot more sense
when I’m 80.
A.B.: And by then,
those jokes about not
having any children
will be rendered
useless—you might
have kids then, might
not, probably not.
J.M.: That’s very
funny. You and my
mom want to know
about that.
for Letting My
Old Watch Slightly
Comedy ...
Some classics now
available on Disney+ feature
pretty racist stereotypes.
Additional reporting by Rebecca Alter, Carla Bruce-Eddings,
Brock Colyar, Madison Malone Kircher, and Savannah Smith.
Notonlydoesit disdain
anythingremotely
edifying,it is physically
unpleasanttotake
in.Eachrescueeffort
is announcedwithflashinglights.
And, a screamingchorusof sirensand
revving enginesandmoreflashing
lights—anditsonegirldogis a
cockapoo: atiny,fluffy, self-deprecating,
emotionallydemonstrativemember
of a toy breed,whois consistently
praisedforhergraciousnessand
ex cellentmemorizationskills.This
show is utterfilth.Mychildrenloveit.
BRIANPLATZER
Avoid Paw Patrol
at All Costs