The Four

do better than peers who are more easily flustered, get hung up on
petty issues, and let their emotions drive their responses to stimuli.
People who are comfortable taking direction and giving it, and who
understand their role in a group, do better than their peers when lines
of authority get murky and organizational structures are fluid.
This effect has been well documented in the academic
environment. A massive meta-study of 668 evaluative studies of
school programs teaching social and emotional life skills found that 50
percent of children in those programs increased their scholastic
achievement, and there were similarly dramatic drops in misbehavior.
And bestselling author Daniel Goleman, who popularized the term
emotional intelligence, found measurable business results at global
companies led by individuals who demonstrate self-awareness, self-
regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.
One interesting result of the increasing importance of emotional
maturity is that among younger people, this skill favors women. I’m
not trying to be politically correct here, though admittedly I’m not sure
I would have had the balls to highlight this point if the finding favored
men. Anyway, when asked in surveys, men and women agree that
women in their twenties tend to “act their age” more than men. There
is neurological evidence that women’s brains develop sooner and more
quickly into adult brains.
I often attend meetings where a young man, or several, burn up
most of the time expounding on their own enthusiasms, clash over
perceived control of the dialog, and generally preen before the crowd,
until finally a young woman in the room—who has kept her mouth
shut and listened—calmly introduces relevant facts, summarizes the
critical issues, and makes the recommendation that gets us on to our
next task.
Men, even young men, still enjoy a cultural bias over their female
peers when it comes to advancement—probably because they are seen
as more decisive. This will likely remain the case for that minority of
young men who cultivate emotional maturity. But they will be a rare
and valuable breed. Firms have figured out that, with 70 percent of
high school valedictorians female, the future really is women.
The digital age is Heraclitus on steroids: change is a daily constant.
In almost every professional environment, we are expected to use and