74 5 - 18 February 2020 Do you agree? Let us know at [email protected]
hardpressedtobuya three-pointplug
socketthatdoesn’tcomewithatleast
a coupleofaccompanyingUSBports.
Buteventhoseareunderthreatnow,
asthoseoblong-shapedUSB-Aports
aregraduallybeingphasedoutforthe
slimlineUSB-C.Sure,youcanstillbuy
convertercables,butit’sgoingto
getawkward
beforelong.
Whattheworld
needsnow– more
thana new
nucleardealwith
Iranora massive
sprinklersystem
in Australia– is a
universalstandardforpowersockets
(infact,theEUis nowdiscussingone:
seenews,page9). Makeit USB-Cif you
like,butmakea firmcommitmentthat
forthenext 20 or 30 years,every
low-poweredsmartdevicewilladopt
thesamechargingstandardsothatwe
canbuywallsockets,adaptersand
cables,safein theknowledgethatBarry Collins is tired of waking up to rows
over unplugged devices
Page 404
they’renotgoingtobeobsoletebefore
themilkin thefridgegoesoff.
This,ofcourse,willrequireco-
operationbetweenallthebig
electronicsfirms.Applehasinfamously
snubbedanyattempttostandardise
chargersin thepast,preferringtogoits
ownwaywitha hostofproprietaryports
andsocketsthathaveshownallthe
longevityofanX-Factorwinner.But
evenstubbornold,can-we-charge-you-
thirty-quid-for-a-new-iPhone-charger
ApplehassettledonUSB-Cforitslast
coupleofgenerationsofdevices.Let’s
nailthemdownnow,beforetheychange
theirmindandinventtheUnicornCable.
What’sthat,youask?Whatever
happenedtowirelesscharging?Well,
yes.Thatwouldbenice.Butuntilthey
finda waytodoit withoutboilingthe
cat,we’regoingtoneedcables.Is it too
muchtoaskfortheelectronicsfirmsto
worktogetherononestandard?If it
savesmefromanother7amteenage
meltdown,I’lllockthemin theroom
togethermyself.I havea recurringnightmare
of beingleftto diebecauseone
of mysprogsunpluggedmy
life-supportto streamStrictly
ontheir smartphoneT
he peace in our house is broken
at around 7am every morning.
That’s the time someone gets up
to discover the phone/tablet/
headphones/Kindle/other battery-
powered device they left to charge
overnight was gazumped by somebody
else. And hell hath no fury like a teenager
forced to go to school with a flat iPhone.
The lack of power sockets in our
house has reached crisis level. I keep
expecting Bob Geldof to turn up and
launch a charity single, because it’s an
absolute power famine. We’ve got so
many multi-plug adapters, I’m surprised
we’ve not been grassed up to the
National Grid, yet there’s still a bunfight
for spare sockets every evening.
The so-called smart home is to blame.
Not only do we have to accommodate
the TV, Sky box, fish tank and all the
regular stuff that’s been plugged in for
the past God-knows-how-many-years,
but we’ve now got smartphones,
smart speakers, smart lights, smart
thermostats, smart meters and a dozen
other devices that demand to be
chained to the mains 24 hours a day. I’ve
lost count of
the amount
of times I’ve
come home
to find the
heating off
or the lights
not working
because the
youngest “needed” to charge her tablet.
I now have a recurring nightmare of
being left to die because one of my
sprogs unplugged my life-support
machine so they could stream Strictly
on their smartphone.
The electronics firms got wise to this
phenomenon a while back. If you go into
stores such as Wickes or B&Q, you’ll be Illustration: Andrew TorrensCharge of the
fight brigade