SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS
logical changes and how those changes
impact our parenting. How will our chil-
dren succeed in the age of robots and arti-
ficial intelligence? How will they thrive in
the tech revolution? These anxieties are
familiar to parents the world over.
As a young mother, I took what little
guidance and advice I could find, but for
the most part I decided to trust myself. It
may have been my training as an investi-
gative journalist or my distrust of author-
ity that had come from my childhood, but
I was determined to find out the truth
on my own. I had my own ideas about
what kids needed, and I stuck to them,
no matter what other people thought.
The result was—to many people’s eyes—
idiosyncratic at best, or just plain odd.
I spoke to my daughters as if they were
adults from day one. Most mothers natu-
rally turn to baby talk—a higher-pitched
voice, simpler words. Not me. I trusted
them and they trusted me. I never put
them in danger, but I also never stood in
the way of them experiencing life or tak-
ing calculated risks.
When we lived in Geneva, I sent Susan
and Janet to the store next door to buy
bread, on their own. They were ages 5 and- I respected their individuality from the
beginning. My theory was that the most
important years were 0 to 5, and I was
going to teach them as much as I could
early on. What I wanted more than any-
thing was to make them first into inde-
pendent children and then into empow-
ered, independent adults. I figured that if
they could think on their own and make
sound decisions, they could face any
challenges that came their way. I had no
idea at the time that research would vali-
date the choices I had made. I was follow-
ing my gut and my values and what I saw
worked in the classroom as a teacher.
It’s rather strange to be a “famous” par-
ent and to have your family profiled on the
cover of magazines. I certainly don’t claim
all the credit for their successes as adults,
but all three have turned out to be accom-
plished, caring, capable people. Susan is
the CEO of YouTube, Janet is a profes-
sor of pediatrics at the University of Cal-
ifornia, San Francisco, and Anne is the
co-founder and CEO of 23andMe. They
rose to the top of ultracompetitive, male-
dominated professions, and they did so
by following their passions and thinking
for themselves. Watching my daughters
navigate the world with grit and integrity
has been one of the greatest rewards of my
life. I’m especially impressed by how they
compete and cooperate, focusing not on
being the only woman in the room but on
finding solutions to the problems we face.ParentS conStantly aSk me for ad-
vice—OK, sometimes beg for the strate-
gies I used with my daughters that they
might apply to their own parenting.
Teachers do the same, wondering how
I escaped being a disciplinarian and in-
stead found a way to guide students who
are genuinely passionate about the work
they’re doing. Without really intending
to, I found I’d started a debate about how
we should be raising our kids and how to
make education both relevant and useful.
What I’m offering, and what has struck
a chord with so many people across the
world, is an antidote to our parenting and
teaching problems, a way to fight against
the anxiety, discipline problems, power
struggles, peer pressure and fear of tech-
nology that cloud our judgment and harm
our children.
Through my decades of experience as
a mother, grandmother and educator, I’ve
identified five fundamental values that
help us all become capable, successful
people. To make it easy to remember in all
walks of life, I call these values “TRICK”:
TRUST, RESPECT, INDEPENDENCE,
COLLABORATION AND KINDNESS.Trust
we are in a crisis of trust the world
over. Parents are afraid, and that makes
our children afraid—to be who they are,
to take risks, to stand up against injustice.
Trust has to start with us. When we’re con-
fident in the choices we make as parents,
we can then trust our children to take im-I’m offering
a way to
fight the
anxiety,
discipline
problems,
power
struggles,
peer
pressure
and fear of
technology
that
cloud our
judgment.