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Looking up at St Thomas’s Church, I took a deep, steadying
breath, trying to calm my turbulent thoughts. When I’d last
stood in the same spot, 12 months ago, I’d been at the funeral
of my mum, Catherine. By chance the church hall was also
where the local Slimming World group met each week – the
same group Mum and I had once attended together. Now, with
mixed emotions, I steeled myself to go in and carry on with
my weight loss journey, just like I knew she would have wanted.
‘I’m going to do this for you, Mum,’ I thought, as I walked
nervously through the doors.
There was no doubt in my mind that this would be a new
beginning for me, but I couldn’t help worrying that the other
members might judge me for going off track in the year since I’d
last been to group. My fears soon melted away as my Consultant,
Lisa, came over to me with a warm, welcoming smile. Surrounded
by familiar faces, and feeling like everyone was on my side, I knew
I was back where I needed to be. Maybe I could
finally put the past behind me and fix my difficult
relationship with food.
I’d never been able to tell anyone about the day
that my troubles started – a day in 2004 just before
my 13th birthday. I’d headed out to the park on my
bike with some friends. One by one they returned
home, but I was enjoying myself so I stayed out
a little longer, oblivious to the time. I didn’t notice
the three men surrounding me until it was too late,
and in a harrowing attack I was physically and
sexually assaulted. Afterwards, the 12-year-old
me simply couldn’t process what they had done,
and I returned home feeling as though I was
somehow to blame. I felt that ashamed I didn’t tell
anyone – not even Mum and Dad – so nobody was able to help me
understand that it wasn’t my fault. Instead, eating lots of chocolate
bars and bags of crisps became my way of coping with the trauma.
Looking back, I think my eating was as self-destructive as it
was comforting – as if I was punishing myself for what had
happened to me. Each chocolate bar made me feel better and
worse at the same time. And although I knew my sudden weight‘I’m proud
of the man
I’ve become’
For Andrew Collins, a
childhood trauma was the
start of a difficult relationship
with food. Here he explains how
he overcame tragedy to lose
13st 11½lbs, finding the strength
to break free from his past
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