ing on a specific positive emotion you would want
to feel in that scenario. When you pick that emo-
tion, practice feeling it repeatedly so that you can
carry that mindset whenever stress starts to arise.
SET REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
we Live in the era of the upgrade—we’re
constantly looking for something bigger and better
in every aspect of our lives—and that automatically
sets us up for failure, according to Hall.
“People think that they’ll be less stressed if they
get a better job or better romantic partner,” she
says. “I tell clients to stop [thinking that].” Rather,
she suggests finding gratitude for the things that
we already have in our lives and fulfill us. Focusing
on what you do now, Sanders says, can help miti-
gate the stress about what is next.
FIND A CONFIDANT
sometimes it takes an outside perspective
to let us know that we’re not handling stress well.
That’s why experts suggest that having someone
to confide in can be a key component to reducing
your stress. Hall suggests finding someone at work
or in your personal life to lean on. “They’ll be the
one to know when you’ve gone AWOL, when you’re
about to flip a switch or when your productivity
has gone down,” she says.WRITE IT DOWN
putting pen to paper can be a therapeutic
mode of expression. “Write somewhere—whether
it be in a journal or on your computer—the persons,
places and tasks that have been triggers of stress,”
Hall says. She suggests journaling regularly for at
least a month and then reading it back to analyze
your level of happiness. “Once you’ve identified
those triggers, go talk to your manager or supervi-
sor about these things,” she says.SEEK PEACE AND LOVE
haLL suggests taking five minutes a day to
find something that will bring you serenity—such
as listening to music or finding quiet time to take
deep breaths. This, she says, will reboot your mind
and body. And you don’t need to go it alone. “What
we know is isolation kills and community heals,”
Hall says—there are great benefits to surrounding
yourself with caring friends and family or having a
loving pet. She also recommends decorating your
workspace with plants and colors to elevate your
mood and make you feel less alone.CHANGE YOUR MINDSET
according to both haLL and sanders, the
biggest misconception about stress is that we have
to beat it. When we make stress the enemy, we actu-
ally create more stress for ourselves. “While stress
arises from unregulated negative emotions, inten-
tionally activating positive heart emotions such as
care, appreciation, compassion and ease decreases
your stress by creating physiological harmony,”
Sanders says. “Positive thinking isn’t enough here;
it must be positive feelings from the heart to affect
your body and brain.” What it all comes down to is
learning to react positively—from both mental and
emotional standpoints—to negative stressors in
our lives. •