24 THECUT|MARCH2–15, 2020
sometimeswheni’mwearing a low-cut top,
I’llglancedownat my owncleavage. What’s going on
downthere?Doestheinsideofmy blouse look like the
balloon-filledceilingofa politicalconvention before the big
drop? Like twoheartyscoopsofflanwobbling
serenelyintheirfabricbowls?
Ona recentinspection,I wasdismayed.There,
atthebottomofa once-lavender-coloredbra
I hadlivedinforthebetterpart oftwoyears,my
breastspooledlimplyinitstired,gapingcups.
Fromitsmurky depths,thetopsofmy areolae
gazedupatmesadly.
Despitethetitillatingpromisesmadebylinge-
rie ads, most bras aren’t so muchseductive
accessories as basic utilities, a containment
device you need to be able to move throughthe
world without getting knocked out bya titwhen
you run to the 4 train. Once you findonesthat
work for you, you hold on to them. Sometimes
it’s for emotional reasons. More often it’s
because, now that their chest is relativelysecure,
bra wearers have other things they wanttothink
about and spend their money on.
That was my attitude, at least. Sowhena
friend recently asked me how long peopleare
supposed to keep their bras, my responsewas,
“Until they dissolve into dust on yourbody.”
As soon as I said it out loud, I realizedthat
maybe I was wrong. Maybe—possibly—people
shouldn’t wear a bra until it swings looselyaround
their chest like tattered college honor cords.
If I was wrong, however, I certainly wasn’talone.
“T oo long,” most of the people answeredwhen
I asked how long they kept their bras. Howlongis
too long, though? In a poll I sent out onTwitter, 28
percent of the more than 200 respondentssaidthey
had owned most of their bras for betweentwoand
three years; 33 percent said they had ownedthem
for less than two years; and 15 percent saidthey had
owned them for over five years. As for thestateof
FEED
UGLY TRUTHS
Throw Out
Yo u r B r a ,
Already
An intimate look
at our worst intimates.
By Madeleine Aggeler
Photograph by HANNAH WHITAKERJenny, 57,
36B
PURCHASED
ROUGHLY 2010
“I ain’t exactly the
Fleur du Mal or Agent
Provocateur type.
I like a friendly
bra, not one that
intimidates.”Liz, 39
34C
PURCHASED
2004
“I met my husband at a
bar ontheLower
East Side while
wearing the bra. We
went home together,
and the rest is history.
Over the years, I’ve
gotten rid of the
asymmetrical black
top (!) and brown
skinny jeans (!) and ...
red rubber rain boots
(???) ... I was wearing
that night, but I’ve
never been able to
bring myself to throw
out the bra.”Lily, 29
34D
PURCHASED
2013
“The bra is a
orse. She
s t of wear,
but she also was
supremely hardy
to begin with, like
anold truck.”