FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN SEPTEMBER 2017 COSMOPOLITAN 83Joy Robb. “That, or when it interferes
with your own relationship, such as if
you’re paying more attention to this
person than your partner, or when
you start to delete text messages in
case your partner reads them.”THE FLIP SIDE
What if you’re reading this and
wondering whether your partner is
engaging in a little micro-cheating
of their own? It could be hard to
pick up the signs when they’re not
actually cheating and doing things
that would provide more obvious
and concrete signs.
“If you think your partner might
be micro-cheating, bring it up from
a position where it is a negative
characteristic of you,” says Desiree.
“For example: ‘I feel insecure when
you contact this girl, I worry about
our relationship’. If he cares about
you, he’ll want you to feel secure
and take your worries away.”relationship has its own threshold
when it comes to what constitutes
cheating. But micro-cheating shows
that you’re thinking about the
attentions of someone who isn’t your
partner. How would your partner feel
if they knew that the reason behind
the red lip you’re rocking to work is
Arjun from accounting?
“The line is crossed when you
realise the things you are saying (or
doing) to someone else would feel
quite hurtful if your partner knew,”
says relationship therapist Amanda
USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE
Let’s flip the switch: a little micro-
cheating could throw a buoy to
a floundering relationship. When
used wisely, it can potentially benefit
your relationship.
“It could show you that, ‘I’ve still
got it, people find me attractive
and are into me’,” says Desiree.
“This could make you feel more
confident and, in turn, you bring this
confidence into your relationship.
On top of that, your partner gets a
message that, ‘Wow, others find my
partner attractive’ and it ignites a
fire that tells them you are theirs.”
Amanda agrees that “harmless
flirting is fun and can be shared
with your partner, but not when
it interferes and gets in the way
of your romantic feelings” in the
relationship. There’s the giveaway—
if you feel you can’t engage in this
behaviour in the company of your
SO, you should back away.
“Harmless flirting can occur in
front of a partner, or can be disclosed
to them in a way that’s not a big deal,”
says Amanda, whereas “emotional
cheating is secretive.”
When it’s unequivocally, most-
definitely a no-no? If you have a past
with this person. If you’ve dated
or had sex, do not entertain the
idea of flirtation. We repeat: do.not
go.there.girlfriend. n‘IT’S JUST HARMLESS
FUN’, YOU SAY. AND
YEAH, WE AGREE TO
AN EXTENT.