Cosmopolitan India 201709

(Nandana) #1
O
OV S CO
O O O
AS O
A.

S C C
O CA O S.
OH!

S A AS.

,
OV
YOU!

NO NIKHIL, YOUR
DAYS OF ENTERING
MY INBOX ARE
OVER. I WISH I COULD
MOVE YOU INTO
THE TRASH FOLDER
IN REAL LIFE.

MUST... CHECK...
NOTIFICATIONS...
OH FORGET IT!

MY NAME
IS AKASH.

*SIGH* ADITYA,
I THINK I LOVE
YOU!

Illustrations:

SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

ZOMBIEING (VERB)
When an ex suddenly
reappears, springing back
to life with a text, call or
even an in-person visit. A
step on from haunting, it
typically involves direct
contact, instead of creeping
around your Instagram.
Unlike the walking dead,
these zombies tend to be
quite upset you’ve blocked
them on Linkedin.

NO NIKHIL, YOUR
DAYS OF ENTERING
MY INBOX ARE
OVER.

BREAD-
CRUMBLING
(VERB)
The act of
scattering
flirty messages
to numerous
people in
order to
attract lots
of interest
with minimal
effort. Watch
out for name
mix-ups.

THE LEMMING
(NOUN) That one
person who, despite
being happy in their
relationship, will be
ready to ditch their
partner as soon as
someone in their
circle becomes
single. The lemming
doesn’t need much
encouragement to
embrace the party
lifestyle.

I WISH I COULD
MOVE YOU INTO
THE TRASH FOLDER
IN REAL LIFE.

MOONING (VERB) Strictly for iPhone users. This means switching on the
little moon icon on your phone that sets it to ‘Do Not Disturb’. Phone calls
go straight to voicemail and messages don’t light up meaning you can pretend
your phone (and that awful Tinder date) doesn’t exist for a few blissful hours.
Not to be confused with stripping in public as a dating tactic, no matter how
great your *ss is.


MUST... CHECK...
NOTIFICATIONS...
OH FORGET IT!

SHIPPING (ADJECTIVE) Derived from the word
‘relationship’ by fans of the X-Files in the noughties,
this describes the act of wishing two people would
hurry up and get together. Eg, ‘I’m definitely shipping
Ross and Rachel’, can also be used in actual, everyday
life, like with any of us and, say, Chris Hemsworth.

MY NAME
IS AKASH.

*SIGH* ADITYA,
I THINK I LOVE
YOU!
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