Backpacker – August 2019

JULY/AUGUST 2019

104 BACKPACKER.COM

MY BAD

I Got ‘Skeeters

Up My Skirt.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN something was wrong

before I even got to the trailhead.

En route to Denali State Park, I stopped at a gas

station and when I hopped out, I quickly sensed

that men in skirts were not a common sight in rural

Alaska. Well, I wasn’t in a skirt, exactly, but the two

camo-clad guys at the adjacent pump probably

didn’t distinguish between a hiking kilt and piece of

women’s clothing, and I wasn’t about to explain. They

looked at me like I was an extraterrestrial.

In truth, my kilt choice had started with skirts.

After seeing plenty of women hiking in them, I

thought, Who doesn’t want more freedom? But even

though I like to consider myself a modern man, I

wasn’t quite ready to shop at Lululemon. Fortunately,

I didn’t have to. The Mountain Hardwear Mountain

Kilt was created for guys just like me. It was made

of lightweight, quick-dry nylon, ended at a point just

above my knees, and had pockets. Even the soft,

chamois-line waistband felt like an upgrade. Perfect.

Well, perfect somewhere I’m sure, but not Alaska

in summer. There was one problem with my plan. In a

word: mosquitoes.

Alaska is famous for its ‘skeeters, but we were far

south of the Arctic’s headnet country, so I figured

they wouldn’t be too bad. And they weren’t. But you

don’t need swarms of mosquitoes to ruin your day

when you’re wearing a kilt just like the Scottish do.

Really, just one biting insect will do it.

I’m sure the scenery was great that afternoon,

but I can’t say I recall seeing any of it. I just remem-

ber trying and failing to hold the bottom of that kilt

closed. Fortunately, that didn’t last all week. I hadn’t

done everything wrong: I packed a pair of pants, too.

–Dennis Lewon

YOU DO THE HILLBILLY HANG.

Bad move: Strapping food, fuel, a sleeping pad, or jackets to the

outside of your pack. You’ll ruin your gear, lose it to low-hanging

branches, and look like a hobo. Buy a big-enough pack and stow

everything—except water bottles—inside.

DEB ATA BLE

YOU USE YOUR

TREKKING POLES WRONG.

Hiking with poles reduces compression on

the knees by up to 25 percent on descents,

and poles cut down on muscle strain and the

risk of ankle injury. Shorten poles on uphills

and lengthen on the downs. But what to do

with those straps?

STRAPS

ARE KEY!

STRAPS

ARE DUMB!

Justin “Trauma” Lichter has hiked 35,000 miles since

2002. On the sensitive subject of wrist-strap engage-
      ment, he says, “If you go up through the strap, it cradles
      the base of your hand, and you can get a little extra push.
      It gives more stability and efficiency.”

Guide and SAR badass Doug

Chabot retorts: “If you’re

entwined with your wrist strap

and you fall, it could wrench

your arm out of its socket.”

You skimp on your sleeping pad.

Conduction—heat transfer from your

warm body to the cold ground—is

your enemy. Buy the best-insulating

sleeping pad you can carry.

You buy the wrong-size tent.

Today’s shelters are so light you

should consider getting a three-

person tent for two people. Way

more comfortable.

You freeze in your sleeping bag.

Go for a bag that’s rated at least

10 degrees below the lowest

temperature you expect.

You store your headlamp with

batteries inside. They’ll lose power

faster. Also, if you can’t lock your

headlamp, fl ip the batteries around

to prevent accidental turn-ons.

YOU’RE

DOING IT

WRONG! GEAR

QUICK
FIX

PHOTOS BY ISTOCK (3); LOUISA LABANESE