40 GUIDEPOSTS.ORG
COURTESYJACKIE^O’GUINsomething in her broke after she
and my dad ended their marriage. It
started small, my younger brother
and sister told me. She went from
making cutting comments about Dad
to targeting them. She had a short
temper and became terrifying when
angered. Soon every conversation
ILJHTLHTPULÄLSK
The summer after freshman year,
I hardly recognized her. I got a job
working at a dress shop and saved
up enough to use my employee dis-
count to buy her a new dress. She
wore it the night my then-boyfriend
brought his parents over for dinner.
When they complimented her on
it, Mom said, “Jackie got it for me.
She probably got the money from
selling drugs.” She wasn’t joking.
The awkward silence that followed
was stifling. It was a slap to the
face. I was a good kid who never
did anything of the sort. I couldn’t
tell if she was just trying to undermine
my relationship or if she believed
her own hurtful lies.
As the years went on, she got
worse. I stopped spending time at
home. I got married, started a
family of my own. Three months
after my second daughter was
born, Mom suddenly remar-
ried. She left one day without
warning, leaving my brother
and sister, who were in grade
school and high school, to
fend for themselves. Fortunate-
ly, they moved in with Dad.
Shortly after, Mom and her new
husband called my husband
and me out of the blue to inform us
that they no longer wanted to have
a relationship with us or our daugh-
ters. I didn’t hear from her for a
long time after that.
Years later, she reached out once
more. She’d remarried again and
seemed to have leveled out. This
time, she said she wanted to rebuild
our relationship. Thinking of all
the memories I had of her as a fun,
loving mother before things went
bad, I agreed.
We had several positive visits, and
Mom eventually asked if she could
have my daughters come for a week-
long stay at her home. She lived just
a few hours away, and my daughters
were old enough. I thought it would
be a great opportunity for them
to get to know their grandmother
better. Until my sister called.
My sister lived close to Mom. They
weren’t on good terms, but she
still wanted to see her nieces. She’d
walked into a horrible situation.
“She’s pitting the girls against
each other,” my sister told me.
“Praising one just to tear the other
one down. She’s saying the cruel-
est things...” I was already packingYoung Jackie with her mom and siblings
during happier days