41
my bags before the phone call was
over. My husband and I immediately
drove straight to Mom’s to pick up
the girls.
I arrived at my mother’s house, fu-
rious. I gathered my kids and walked
toward the front door.
“If you want to see the girls again,”
I told my mother, “it’ll be in my
house, under my supervision. Or
not at all.”
My sister urged me to sever ties
with Mom completely, as she had,
but I couldn’t bring myself to do
it. I was still clinging to the hope that
Mom would go back to being the
kind of mother she’d been for me
during the good times.
After that, Mom started showing
up occasionally at our front door,
unannounced. On one such visit,
I could hear Mom and my oldest
daughter, Kristen, talking. Kristen
mentioned something innocuous
about school.
“You’re a liar,” Mom spat out in
response.
That was it.
I pulled Mom aside later and told
her she’d no longer be welcome
in my home, until she’d gotten some
counseling.
Through years of ups and downs,
all the insults and erratic behavior,
I’d never been able to cut Mom off
completely. I felt bad for her. I prayed
for her. Asked God to heal her. But
I’d finally found my breaking point.
She could do whatever she wanted
to me, but my children were an-
other story. I’d already given her too
many chances. I knew that she
desper ately needed help, but she
needed to be the one to want to
JOHUNL0JV\SKU»[Ä_OLY0ULLKLK
[V[HRLJHYLVMT`V^UMHTPS`ÄYZ[I HADN’T COMMUNICATED with Mom
since that day. At least not until
the experience I’d had the night be-
fore. I couldn’t shake the feeling
that what I’d seen and felt was more
than a dream. Sipping my coffee,
I sat down in front of my computer
and did a search for my mother’s
UHTL;OLÄYZ[YLZ\S[[OH[JHTL\W
was her obituary.
She’d died two days before.
Mom had gotten married for the
ÄM[O[PTL/LYJ\YYLU[O\ZIHUK^HZ
listed as the next of kin. He didn’t
know how to get in touch with me
or any of my siblings. In fact, he
might not have even known I existed,
seeing as how I wasn’t even men-
tioned in the obituary.
But instead of bitterness, I felt
gratitude. I’d longed for a carefree,
functional relationship with my
4VTHNHPU0»KÄUHSS`NV[[LUP[PM
only for a moment. And the experi-
ence showed me that Mom wanted
the same thing. If she could’ve
ILLUKPќLYLU[ZOL^V\SKOH]L:OL
proved that to me with the perfect
final visit.Get tips on gaining closure at Guideposts.org/FindingPeaceMy sister urged me to sever ties, but I still
clung to the hope that Mom would go back
to how she’d been during the good times.