68 • AUGUST 2019
T
he first time I flew, I was 15 or- I wasn’t scared. I found it
exhilarating. Flying was in my
blood, I think. Before I transitioned,
the military was well-known for its
homophobia and it was still illegal to
be gay and serve. Being transgender, I
knew I wasn’t a gay, my identity was
female, but nobody else understood—
they assumed I was a gay man who
wanted to “catch” another man by
taking the role of a woman.
If anybody was seen to be LGBT,
they were reported. And once you
were outed, you were out of the door
and out of your job that same day.
You’d probably had years of service,
doing incredible things for Queen
and country, but all of a
sudden, your record was irrelevant.
I’d reached the point in my life
where I just couldn’t hide anymore—I
had to be me. I’d struggled through the
first half of my career thinking I could
live through it, but I couldn’t. The
feeling that life was flashing by got
stronger and stronger and that left me
with two options—leave and
transition or stay and transition.
The first official person I told was
my medical officer. I was scared but
she was brilliant. She said, “Go back
to work and I’ll make all of the
inquiries on your behalf.”
It was all off my chest. She spoke to
legal; she spoke to medical, she spokeTRANSGENDER TRAILBLAZERS
Royal Air Force veteran Caroline Paige, 60, has
served in nearly every significant conflict of the
past 35 years and was also the first openly
transgender aviator to serve in the RAF.