Reader’s Digest UK – August 2019

AUGUST 2019 • 71

moved stations. I felt a bit more
accepted and thought, I can do this.
In 2000 my former partner and I
were interviewed by DIVA [Europe’s
largest lesbian magazine] while
attending Manchester Pride. A
colleague got hold of a copy and put
photocopies across four or five police
stations. What it really brought home
was fear, because if this was
happening to me as a gay person,
what was I going to do about my
gender identity? The easiest way for
me to deal with it
was to throw
myself into work.
By 2009, I’d
become a
successful detective.
Behind closed
doors I was [my
male identity]
“Christian” and that
feeling of Oh my
god, this is what I’ve
been waiting for all
of my life was taken away from me each
morning. I was getting dressed to go to
work as a woman and fighting through
shifts to drive home to be Christian.
When I was promoted to detective
sergeant in 2010 my days grew really
busy and when I wasn’t able to get
home after my shift, I stopped coping.
One day a murder investigation
came in. As a detective sergeant,
when a job like that comes in you’re
certainly not going home. I went into
meltdown and walked out knowing I

READER’S DIGEST

had to get home to be me, Christian, a

man. I realised that if I didn’t do

something it would lead to a mental

breakdown. The next day I walked

into HR and we started the process of

my transition.

Transitioning has changed my

priorities. I want to make the

organisation a better place before I

retire, and I’ve sacrificed my own

promotion for that. It’s been difficult

at times as the first serving officer to

transition in Merseyside Police, and a

steep learning curve

for all, but I strive to

raise trans visibility

and inclusion on a

daily basis. If I was still

in the detective world,

I wouldn’t be able to

be open as Christian

every day and I’ve

gone through too

much not to be who

I am at work.

My twin sister often

asks me, “When are you just going to

be Christian the man, and not trans”

and I’m torn. There’s so much I can

do in terms of education, awareness

and mentoring and if I didn’t have

that label, people wouldn’t know how

to reach me. But one day I’m sure

that I will just live my life as Christian,

just a man, and a very happy man,

with no labels, knowing that I have

made a difference and played my part

in improving trans awareness and

education in our society.

THE EASIEST

WAY FOR ME

TO DEAL WITH

IT WAS TO

THROW

MYSELF INTO

WORK