Hospitality, Food & Wine, Monthly (53)Dr. Marc Clark is a renowned personality in
both Management and Hospitality sectors.
He is President & CEO of SmartBizzOnline.
com. He is a published award winning
author, international lecturer, and Senior
Advisor with GATE since 2008. He holds
the hospitality designations of CHA-
3Diamond, CHRE, CHE, CHO, CHDT, CHT. and CHS
[email protected]
• “Let me think about what you’re
saying or suggesting.” This statement
allows one to buy time and to get
emotions off of full throttle. Having
time to think during an argument, not
only helps reduce tension and stress, it
also begins to slow the heart rate and
decrease blood pressure. It allows one
to begin to look at things from different
perspectives instead of from “there is
only one option available” thinking.
Taking time to think allows the body
to calm down. It also transmits the
message that you care enough to at least
consider someone else’s point of view,
which can result in the calming for the
other person involved in the argument.
• “You know there is a possibility you
could be right.” This statement allows
some space, some wiggle room between
the two parties because it shows an
openness to
negotiation
and a willingness
to compromise. This
signal is enough to soften
most people’s position and allows
them the option to step back from the
edge, without the feeling of defeat.
Know that this approach is only
acknowledging that there might be
something to the other persons point of
view that you are willing to take under
consideration, however, you are not
agreeing that the other person is right.• “I see and I understand.” These
two phrases extend empathy. They
are quite prevailing words. Both
phrases halt the forward progress of an
argument by changing the arguments
direction, the argument makes a 180.
Also remember, saying you see or
understand does not mean you have to
solve the problem or that you agree. It
means simply, “I understand”.• “I am sorry.” I believe that
these are three of the most powerful
words in the world. There are thosewho are disinclined to apologize,
believing that an apology is either an
admission of guilt (to something) or an
acceptance of complete responsibility.
When this happens, most times an
argument, begins to escalate. More
often, apologies mean stepping us and
“owing” some of the responsibility. At
times, saying I’m sorry, is an admission
of complete responsibility. During such
times, a sincere heartfelt expression of
regret becomes all the more important.
The best way to manage an argument is
to avoid one at all cost in the first place.
Not an easy thing to do because it might
require you to back down, swallow your
pride, and to become humble. Do you
have the temperament and attitude to
take those steps? I think you do!Adapted from 5 Ways to Stop an Argument in Less
Than a Minute by Pat LaDouceur, PhD