THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER 66 JULY 31, 2019
future condition, I was more terrified of death,
irrespective of timeline. I am holding out hope
that there is some way to avoid it altogether
by hanging on long enough for technology to
catch up to a solution for the unpleasantness
of mortality. To many, that sounds ridiculous,
but I’m not alone in thinking this way. The
tech billionaire class, including Larry Ellison,
Peter Thiel and Jeff Bezos, has invested many
millions in life extension research. Google
Ventures put $1.5 billion into its startup, Calico,
which develops remedies for age-related dis-
eases. If an answer can be found to mortality,
it will be accomplished through the union of
technological genius and enormous amounts
of cash. It is really more a matter of when than
if a “God pill” will be discovered. Consequently,
I have to get ahead of things by identifying any
cracks in the rails that might wreck the train
before it goes to the next station of science and
medicine. I do not intend to go gentle into that
good night.
Jena was the first person I met in the
reception lobby, which was decorated with
an aesthetic I’d call spa-ish: pale woods, light
yellows and blues, gentle illumination. Jena
had me fill out a few forms and confirmed that
I had ordered the optional cardiac MRI ($800),
which would bring the total bill to $6,300.
(Initial visits start at $5,500 with $2,950 for
each annual follow-up.) She then led me to my
personal suite, which included a bathroom,
coffee maker, refrigerator and snack area with
water, juice, protein bars, nuts and fruit, to
be consumed after my blood had been taken.
There was also a phone, table, couch and
42-inch TV. Above the snacks hung boxes of
small, medium and large blue latex gloves. The
gloves caused me to wonder if there might be a
digital prostate exam in my near future, and,
if so, I hoped the examiner would be reaching
for the small glove box.
Laid out on the couch was an HN logoed out-
fit: a V-neck shirt, drawstring pants and socks
with little rubber traction nubs on the soles.
Jena let me know that they were mine to keep
and that she especially liked the “soft and cozy”
socks. After she left, I attired myself and was
joined by Cathy Vrona, R.N., who provided meI USED TO
have perfect vision, now I
pretty much wear glasses all
the time. I used to have a lot of hair and now
I’m losing it in the back and front. What’s left
on my head is getting steadily grayer, catching
up with my much-more-salt-than-pepper
beard. I have tendinitis in my right Achilles
and my left forearm and bicep. That’s it for the
liability side of my health ledger. In terms of
assets, I have a low resting heart rate, a low
PSA (the measurement for prostate cancer
risk), low blood pressure and low body fat. My
daily regimen includes aggressive exercise,
intermittent fasting, a vegan diet and avoid-
ance of drugs, alcohol, sugar and anything
that might hasten my descent into decrepi-
tude and, ultimately, the terrifying abyss that
seems to await us all.
At 55, my program for health maintenance
was working ... as far as I could tell. It was
the question of what I couldn’t tell — the
unknown possibility of a “by the time they
caught it, it was too late” condition — that
brought me to this accounting of my health
balance sheet at 5:35 a.m. on the 5 Freeway,
driving to the high-tech health assessment
company, Health Nucleus, in San Diego.
I pulled into the private parking lot in front
of a modern three-story building that houses
HN and its parent company, Human Longevity
Inc., about 13 minutes before my scheduled
8 a.m. appointment. HN offers a state-of-the-
art approach that provides a personalized,
quantitative health evaluation of one’s risk of
cardiovascular disease, cancer, neurological
disease and metabolic disfunction. HN bills
itself as “the only platform in the world that
combines whole genome sequencing and clini-
cal imaging with artificial intelligence and
machine learning to give you a more complete
picture of health.” When I told my girlfriend
about what I intended to do, her response was,
“What are you thinking?” in a semi-horrified
tone. A majority of others to whom I told of my
plans also indicated that they’d rather remain
ignorant of any unseen would-be murderer
hiding in their organs or genome.
While I feared something terrible might be
found during this analysis of my present andA PRODUCER’S HUMBLE QU
medical testing, a film and television
insider attempts to avoid death indefinitely