The pods themselves were more rustic than expected, but cute, snug and surprisingly warm
The park has several restaurants all dishing up similar offerings of pub grub – think burgers, and fish and
chips – but as that didn’t quite fit with the “grown-up” theme we opted for BYOP instead: bring your own
picnic. On the “green” back at the pods, out came the tropical-patterned blanket, to be loaded with feta and
spinach quiche, lemongrass and edamame falafel, and cups brimming with white port and tonic as the sun
set. The gentle strains of crowd-pleasing tunes being crooned along to an acoustic guitar wafted across from
the yurt-like bar at the other end of the field – the opening bars of Ed Sheeran were enough to put us off
moving closer, but it did add to the pleasantly festival-esque feel.
The pods themselves were more rustic than expected, but cute, snug and surprisingly warm thanks to their
wood-lined walls and insulating exterior material. There were plug sockets, a heater, a bin and three beds:
two singles (for our non-existent kids) and a double. There most definitely weren’t any towels though; take
your own if you don’t fancy forgoing a shower like we did. Much to my surprise, I swiftly drifted into a
deep, dreamless sleep facilitated by the sensory deprivation tank-like qualities of our digs – thank you zero
light and noise pollution.
The yurt houses a bar and hosts live music
(Alton Towers)Waking in the knowledge that the day ahead will be filled with rollercoasters induces the kind of stomach-
flutters more often associated with a first date. We stroll to the park along a tree-lined path, chomping on
egg, mushroom and cheese baps and sipping a passable coffee (included with an overnight stay at the pods)
as we go. The birds are singing, the sun is shining – all we need now is last night’s duckling to join us in a
choreographed dance to reach Disney levels of whimsy.
Once in, we make use of our early-entry fast-track tickets – which gain us access to the park half an hour
before the regular punters and allow us to skip the queue once on most rides – by watching the flow of
people and heading in the opposite direction. Most are dead-set on doing The Smiler first, admittedly Alton
Towers’ most impressive ride: with 14 loop-de-loops, it holds the world record for “most inversions” on a
rollercoaster.
Instead, we decide to work our way up to it, choosing a leafy path on the opposite side of the grounds and
inadvertently taking the long way round. Stumbling across a tranquil lake surrounded by greenery, without
a soul in sight, you’d think we were in Cumbria or the Cotswolds – not the UK’s biggest theme park.