GQ USA - 08.2019

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jacket $3,090

Yohji

Yamamoto

reading, and people were commenting like, “You need to
be praying for your hamstrings” and “You don’t need to be
in church, you need to be on the field.” Just weird stuff.
So I remember being like, “I’m going to show the world
who I am.” And the best part about my rookie year, not to
say there was no expectations, but I was living freer. I was
living out my dream. So it felt like everything was surreal.

Are you happier now, or were you happier then? I
always say this: I wouldn’t change anything for the world
for where I’m at now. I also always say this: Be careful
what you ask for and be careful what you speak.

Why? I didn’t know that getting to that level—or being
on the level, like, where a LeBron is at—that I would have
to deal with certain things. Like, I really didn’t know that
when I was younger. People ask me what advice I would
give, and I’m just like: Be careful what you ask for. Like I
said, I wouldn’t change anything for the world, but I wish
the world would have more love than hate in it.

So let me ask you again: Are you happier now, or were
you happier then? At this moment? I’m happier than I’ve
ever been. I’ve never been at this place. And it’s because
of the trials and tribulations, it’s because of the mistakes,
it’s because of the failures, the successes. Everything that
has got me to this point.

What do you say to the fans or critics who want you to
get in line more? I get made out to be some rule breaker.
I’m following your rules and your guidelines, but I’m
just having fun doing it! It’s crazy because you give us a
voice and then you want to control how we use the voice.
And I’ve been having questions about it recently, because
it doesn’t really make sense to me. It’s like you create a
monster, but then you don’t know how to control it any-
more, so then you want to tear it down. It’s all backwards.

So would you rank your happiest times as now, rookie
year, and then the seasons in between? Definitely. Just
considering what I had been through. You have to think
about a 21-year-old, 22-year-old, 23-year-old, 24-year-old
kid. Honestly, the whole reason I play football is, one, for
my momma. Secondly, to inspire these kids. I was a kid
playing in the Georgia Dome at halftime for 15 plays, and
I was there to watch Mike Vick. To watch Allen Iverson. To
watch these guys who inspire me to be who and where I’m
at today. So it’s all for these kids.

You were an all-district bas-
ketball player. Golf Digest
called your swing “beauti-
ful.” Yet you chose to play
pro football—arguably the
most oppressive sport when
it comes to individuality. Do
you ever think about how life
would have been with a dif-
ferent sport? All the time, bro.
Literally every day. Especially
on those days I’m down.
I could’ve done any sport in
the world. Not many people
know, but I used to talk to my
momma and I’d be like, “Ma, if

70 GQ.COM AUGUST 2019

I was done doing this now, would you still be proud of

me?” And this was a couple of years ago, about two or

three years ago.

No way. You really thought about retiring? For real?

Twenty-four years old. Just off it. To love something so

much to a place where it is my everything, and to watch it

be tainted, or all kinds of things be in the middle of it. Like,

it hurt me to my soul. It be like loving someone and putting

them on such a level to where life is about them and you

love that person through anything. Through the good, the

bad. And to watch them do something so heinous and

vulgar. Something just so, like, almost unforgivable. You

still love them, but it’s, like, Wow.

I gotta have you clarify: When you say “they,” who are

you talking about? Because football, the game, hasn’t

changed. Everything around it.

So is that media? Is that league rules? Is it teammates?

Coaches? What or who is responsible for making you

think of retiring at 24? Not to get on conspiracy-type talk,

but there’s so much other stuff that goes on in the National

Football League than football. It’s unreal. I said in college

that I fear the day that they make the game I love a busi-

ness and not just the game I love. And as I slowly, surely,

seen that, it changed my heart about it. But then, at the

same time, I have to feed my family. I have to set myself up

for one day when I have kids—like, I need to set their future.

People will hear you say that and say it sounds like

you’re complaining. “It’s a gift to play in the NFL.” But

I think they forget how competitive it is to be a pro-

fessional football player. You—all of you guys—have to

earn it. Nothing was given to me. It doesn’t matter what

school you went to, how you grew up, none of that. You

still had to earn the right to be in the NFL. And because of

all the stuff that goes on—and don’t get me wrong, I’m not

saying that I don’t respect the fact that I am in the league.

But at the end of the day, I earned the right to be here. You

know what I mean? When I say “they,” it’s not just people,

it’s also the energy people put in those areas. We earned

the right to be there. I understand everybody has freedom

of speech and everyone can have an opinion, but it’s like,

they voice their opinion...

But you can’t voice yours. I have a hard time dealing

with that. We’re supposed to let you just shoot at us and

shoot at us and shoot at us. And for me, the problem

I always run into is that I’m

always trying to be authentic

and real. Even in scenarios

where I shouldn’t be. Like this

is, when you’re authentic and

real—I’ve been in situations

where I said I felt like this and

it was taken and turned the

wrong way.

Do you think you’re under

more scrutiny than others?

I watch other players in the

NFL be able to go to Vegas

and get wild and go onstage

“It’s like you create

a monster, but then

you don’t know how to

control it anymore,

so then you want to

tear it down.” (continued on page 106 )