35
sixty-fifth birthday. The gratitude I’m
talking about is my astonished thanks
for the happy, stable and emotionally
abundant life I will leave behind. A life
I certainly did not deserve and never
could have expected during the decade
I squandered as an active alcoholic.
Back then, I burned through two
marriages and came close to wrecking
a promising law career. I manipulated
people, abandoned friendships, treat-
ed women like emotional props and
scorned help. It was another form of
terminal illness.
Today I am married to a woman, Al-
ice, who is more sensible, generous and
spiritually mature than I could ever hope
to be. We celebrated our twenty-seventh
wedding anniversary this year. We have
three children. I recently retired as part-
ner of a New York City law firm.
None of this was foreordained. Espe-
cially not my marriage to Alice, which I
consider foundational—after my rela-
tionship with God—to so much of my
unexpected good fortune.
I am grateful for Alice. And I am
grateful for what I learned in Alcoholics
Anonymous that enabled me to have my
relationship with Alice. AA taught me
how to find and rely on God, live with
integrity and think of others before my-
self. It taught me how to love unselfishly.
Those gifts helped keep me sober.
They also made me a better husband
and father. Now that I am dying, I can
approach the end of my life in peace be-
cause of who I have become in sobriety.
I share my story in hopes that others
struggling with addiction can find the
connection and purpose that saved mySTEP BY STEP AA helped Bob (here with his
wife, Alice) learn to love unselfishly.OVERCOMING ADDICTION