Guideposts – August 2019

42 GUIDEPOSTS (^) | August 2019
or visit her. Then she won’t be lonely.”
“It’s a good idea,” Eric said. “But it’s
not going to work. Everyone’s busy. If
we could send her a text saying we’re
thinking about her, the grandkids
could get in on it too.”
“Yeah, well, that’s never going to
happen either,” I said. With seven fami-
lies and 13 teenagers or young adults
among us, texting was our go-to way
of communicating. When we were all
caring for Larry, a family group text
had been a lifesaver. That’s when Eric
got Judy a smartphone, but she kept
getting confused and forgetting the
instructions. Eventually she gave the
phone back and reverted to her old flip
phone. She had no interest in texting.
“Whatever happened to using your
phone for actually talking?” she’d say.
I saw her point. There was no real rea-
son we couldn’t call Judy to tell her
something, other than that we’d all
gotten used to a different way of com-
municating. The truth was, it was as
hard for us to change back as it was for
her to try something new.
Just as Eric predicted, my plan for a
daily rotation never really got off the
ground. Instead we went on communi-
cating through text and e-mail, then had
to remember to call Judy to keep her in
the loop for any family get-together. If
plans changed at the last minute, that
meant another phone call. The bigger
problem was that too often Judy missed
the everyday chatter of our lives: the
kids’ school projects, family snapshots,
funny stories. Every few days I checked
in on her, but it only reminded me how
disconnected she was from friends and
family, how lonely she probably was. I
couldn’t fill her in on all the family news,
but there had to be something I could
do to involve her. Some way of convinc-
ing her not to be afraid of technology. I
prayed about it but found no answers.
Finally I gave up trying. Eric too.
Then Eric’s youngest sister, Cindy,
announced her husband’s job had trans-
ferred him to Amsterdam. They’d be in
the Netherlands for at least two years.
Days later, when Eric and I dropped
by, Cindy’s move was all Judy could talk
about. “We’re all going to have to get
international calling plans,” she said.
“Goodness knows what that costs.”
“It’s not the only way,” Eric said.
“There are apps. Free ones.”
Judy stared at the floor. “I’ve never
used an app.”
“I’ll be happy to teach you,” I offered.
“I’ll think about it,” she said.
GOING DIGITAL Judy discovered online
communication had an intimacy all its own.